


The Werewolf Curse Paradox

by Ladyhawk_lhflu



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Claiming, Dom Remus Lupin, Dom/sub, Light BDSM, M/M, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Sub Neville Longbottom, Werewolves
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-28
Updated: 2019-03-25
Packaged: 2019-08-05 11:10:26
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 24
Words: 41,575
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16366760
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ladyhawk_lhflu/pseuds/Ladyhawk_lhflu
Summary: To maintain their sanity, cursed beings need to have balance between themselves and the curse they're under. When that balance is disrupted, the curse will demand its due before it will release the being.





	1. Chapter 1

I closed the door to the cabin softly, then spread the soft mat on the porch. I was sure I'd be here awhile, so I wanted to be as comfortable as possible while I waited. I adjusted my new light formal robes as I knelt on the mat, arranging them so the gold trim would catch the light of the setting sun. 

Then I bent my long, broad frame so that I was prostrating myself towards the three steps leading up to the porch. My worry reared up for a moment as I settled there. I wasn't concerned about any of the Hogwarts students seeing me since the porch faced the Forbidden Forest. But I was interested in one being, who at that moment was haunting the Forest. For a moment, I worried that the being was not the only one that might take advantage of my position. I worried that Aragog would find me a tasty lunch as I knelt there, or that one of the centaurs Firenze commanded would forget their place in the herd and attack me.

But I shook my head before those fears could take hold. This needed to be done, and for some reason only I seemed capable. I was doing this for the lonely being who had been overwhelmed by his curse. I was doing this so he could hold his child, mourn his wife properly, be acknowledged as the hero he was, just as much as Harry and I.

I was doing this so Remus Lupin could come home.

====

Coming back to Hogwarts was almost imperative once I spent time training with the Aurors and realized magical enforcement was nothing like fighting Voldemort most of the time. It was more about keeping Muggles clueless than keeping people safe in the department where I was assigned. That didn't fit with who I wanted to be.

I was relieved when Headmistress McGonagall flooed me to tell me Professor Sprout wanted to retire. Herbology and teaching *did* fit with who I wanted to be. So I agreed to replace Ponoma Sprout without hesitation. 

The job came with a perk that I didn't expect. The Headmistress offered me the little cabin that had replaced the Shrieking Shack as my home, in exchange for taking care of the Devil's Snare nearby and helping Hagrid keep the Forest creatures where they belonged.

So I moved into the cabin the day after the birthday party Hermione held for Harry and me. 

The day after that, I went with Hagrid to inspect the Devil's Snare.

Hagrid was carrying a big bundle as we approached the plant, along with the umbrella that I knew contained his wand. Although he had been cleared to get another once the war ended, he could not bear to part with his original wand. And it only worked because the broken pieces were together inside the umbrella.

As he normally didn't carry the umbrella, I eyed him curiously. But I didn't say anything until he set the bundle down on a stump near the Devil's Snare and waved his umbrella over it.

"What's that for?" I asked.

"It's for Remus," Hagrid answered in a whisper. "He finally came back about two months ago. I put a spell over the food so only he can grab it."

My eyes widened. "He's here? Why didn't you let him use the cabin? There's no students about right now."

"We tried to," Hagrid said as he gazed around the area we were in. "Madam Pomfrey thinks he's still too feral to want to stay inside, though we kept the cabin door open for a week just in case. Your ex-girlfriend has been sending her father's newspaper to her cousin who lives near the woods in Wales that Remus fled to. He stood outside the woods every day and read the newspaper out loud, like Hermione suggested. The night after Teddy was declared safe from his father's curse, that's when Firenze said he saw a werewolf at the south end of the Forest here."

I nodded understandingly. Hagrid knew I was one of the few people who knew Remus had gone feral after the Battle of Hogwarts. I had heard Harry arguing with Andromeda Tonks about Teddy in the infirmary after Remus had fled it. Harry had wanted to take Teddy in so that Remus knew where he was when the wolf let Remus go. Andromeda worried that Remus would try to take Teddy before the wolf let him go. Both knew that the other had good reason for their argument. So they eventually agreed to share custody.

Moving closer to Hagrid, I asked, "Should I leave the cabin door open tonight?"

Hagrid shook his head. "Madame Pomfrey didn't see any signs he had been near it. But it wouldn't be bad to invite Teddy and Harry over to play on the porch after the full moon, if you get my meaning."

I nodded. "If Teddy was what brought him back, maybe showing him that Teddy is well will help. I assume I should lock my door tomorrow night, then?"

"Yes. Though we have someone on call to brew Wolfsbane when he starts to come out of it, St. Mungo's expert on curses warned us not to try to give him it until he does. The wolf might try to kill the human completely once it leaves his system."

I gasped softly. "He's without Wolfsbane? How much is the wolf in control?"

Hagrid shrugged. "Not completely, because he has almost totally avoids people and other magical beings. You know how Remus is. One hint of the wolf coming out, and he goes into hiding."

I gazed out into the Forest, trying to get a glimpse of gleaming amber eyes. "So Harry has told me. Do you know why he went feral?"

Hagrid shook his head as we walked to the Devil's Snare. "Andromeda Tonks has a theory, but I'm not quite sure about it. Maybe you should talk to her about it if you're interested."

Our conversation paused as I treated the winding plant with some formulas I had developed a year ago to sell. The potions would start strengthening the poor thing. Once the roots were doused, I turned back to Hagrid. "I'm definitely interested. He's a good man. He shouldn't be out there all alone."

Hagrid agreed as we made our way back to my cabin and cleared away the plants that were trying to encroach on the front door. I would have to examine them later and find a way to placate them so they gave me room to enter.

"Talk to Harry. He picks Teddy up to visit him and the Weasleys on Saturday and Sunday. Maybe you can go along and talk to her then."

I agreed and once Hagrid left, sent a note off to Harry, asking if I could go to visit Mrs. Tonks with him that Saturday.


	2. Chapter 2

That night I put half of a Honeyduke's chocolate bar on the edge of the porch by the steps. Following Hagrid's lead, I made sure it was wrapped well and spelled to be grabbed by only one set of hands. Then I closed the curtains on the big front window, so Remus would not be startled by my presence.

I settled in the chair by the window with the textbook I would be using to teach the 4th years. But I didn't get much read. My eyes settled on the monitoring orb that I spelled to watch the porch more often than I wanted to admit to.

Despite not being sure of what I was doing, I was rewarded for my efforts. Around midnight, the orb flashed purple as it detected something. When I looked into it, it showed a human like figure crouching to reach for the candy bar. The figure looked up towards the door, allowing me to see a flash of glowing amber (but not much else, as the moon was mostly hidden by the trees nearby).

From what little I did see, the figure was painfully thin. Although the bundle Hagrid left the day before seemed big enough for a week's worth of food, with the wolf in control, Remus was expending more energy than usual. He needed every morsel he could get. So I vowed to go into the woods in the morning to check that Hagrid's bundle hadn't been stolen somehow.

====

The next morning, I searched near the stump where Hagrid had left the food and actually found the little space near a large tree where Remus made his home. I found the food bundle, a Dark Arts book, and a picture of Nymphadora holding her infant son, spelled to stay on the tree.

I didn't touch anything, as the wolf might misinterpret my interest. Werewolves were known to become very possessive in the hours before the full moon. Instead, I left another bundle with a blanket, pillow, chocolate and a muggle novel in the branches above his space. I attached a small rope to it, dangling down at a height that he could reach while standing, but hopefully that the wolf would ignore until some of the human mind was freed the next morning.

That night, I watched my monitoring orb carefully for any sign of the wolf. I didn't even bother to pretend to read my textbooks this time. So for most of the night, I was rather bored. But around one am, I saw Moony come on my porch and sniff at my doorknob, before heading back into the woods.

====

Seeing the wolf in my space gave me hope that he would somehow allow me to help him. So I was rather excited when Saturday came around. I practically dragged Harry to Hogsmeade where we could apparate, and quickly waved my wand. A moment later, I was trembling as we arrived at our destination. Harry eyed me curiously but didn't say anything as we walked up to the Tonks residence.

When I sat down with Andromeda Tonks, she seemed surprised that I was worried about Remus. "Most people who know what happened ignore that I'm missing a son-in-law. They don't want to deal with the curse. That's why he's in this predicament now, actually. Dora was rather good at ignoring his affliction."

I stopped my tea cup from touching my lips as I tried to puzzle that out. "How did she ignore it? From what I've been told, she treated Remus very fairly. She loved him, didn't think less of him because of the curse, and always made sure he had what he needed to keep himself and others safe."

Mrs. Tonks nodded sadly. "Dora loved the man. But she hated the wolf. That is what I think caused him to break once she died."

"But Remus hates the wolf too." Harry interjected as he played with Remus' two year old son on the floor next to us.

"He hates it, but he also respects it. He treated it as a part of himself, which it is. Until my well-meaning daughter decided the best way to deal with the wolf was to ignore it's existence." Mrs. Tonks stirred her tea hard enough to fill the saucer underneath the cup. "She refused to see it, talk about it, or even acknowledge where he went on full moon nights. She made sure he had Wolfsbane and that the space where he spent the night was clean and somewhat comfortable. But that's as far as she would bend. That's the exact opposite of what his first spouse did."

"Oh, right, Sirius and the other Marauders played with the wolf." I mused as I gazed at the Lupins' wedding picture on an end table. It sat next to a picture of Sirius hugging Remus, both of them with big smiles.

The older woman smiled. "And that made a huge difference in how the wolf treated Remus. It actually tried to not hurt the boy it inhabited for a bit, from what Sirius could tell.

"Curses were created in a way that forces you to acknowledge them one way or another. Luckily, the werewolf curse doesn't demand that the being and those around them need to be in constant misery. But trying to ignore it will cause it to get worse." Mrs. Tonks pointed to the book next to Remus' pictures. "The details are in there. He was reading that book a few days before the Battle. I think he knew his break was coming. But the poor boy was not any better at standing up to Dora than he was to Sirius."

"He trusts those he loves a lot, sometimes when he shouldn't. Do you know about the incident where Sirius nearly led Snape to the wolf? Remus told me he blamed himself for it because he didn't tell Sirius to stop picking on Snape before that." Harry asked as started cleaning up Teddy's toys so that we could take a few to my cabin.

Mrs. Tonks nodded. "Sirius told me after he escaped from Azkaban. The wolf nearly tore my cousin apart for leaving him and Remus alone, so Sirius had claw marks on his neck when he came to see me. He told me that the month after that incident with Severus was the only other time the wolf tried to attack him in dog form. Both nights he spent nearly the whole night under the wolf's muzzle with his head down. The wolf had no problem making Sirius acknowledge him."

"But it wasn't Sirius' fault that he was in Azkaban." I said as I stood up and helped Harry gather Teddy's things.

"The wolf appeared to know this. Sirius' penance was a lot easier the second time. He didn't tell me the details, but he smiled about that night. But Remus can't make Dora pay for her neglect. So I'm not sure what to recommend to help him take control from the wolf. Poppy Pomfrey has asked, since I have access to Remus' books. But I haven't been able to find a solution." Andromeda hugged her grandson, but kept one eye on me. It may have been my own thoughts I was reflecting on her, but she appeared hopeful.

Just in case I was right, I looked her straight in the eye and asked, "Do you mind if I try to find a solution? Moony was closer to me last night than he's been near anyone in the last two years, from what I gather."

The older woman's form relaxed a little. "One more mind may be just what we need to solve this. Take the book on the table with you. It has the most information, and even Remus' notes in the margins."

I grabbed it before Harry herded Teddy to the fireplace so we could floo to the cabin. There had to be a way to calm the wolf down, even though Nymphadora couldn't pay for her error. And with the children coming back to Hogwarts, I needed to find it soon.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The discussion about personality types below is not written anywhere that I know of. It's a distillation of my observations and experiences.

Once we returned to the cabin with Teddy, I immediately warded the porch in case Remus was in the area. I made sure that he could stand next to the porch and watch, but could not touch his son.

Both Harry and I sat in the chairs Minerva had provided me, alternating between encouraging Teddy's play, and watching for his father in the shadows beyond the cabin.

But Remus didn't arrive until we were both bent over the little table, showing Teddy how to color spelled drawings.

Teddy giggled as he made a picture of a unicorn as turquoise as he made his hair, then suddenly looked up and said, "Hi Daddy."

Startled, both Harry and I looked around the porch until we spotted our former professor hiding next to the brick pedestal supporting the balustrade railing.

Harry nodded to me silently as I made a motion to shift towards the haggard man. So I stepped closer to Remus as Harry took his wand out to protect Teddy. "Hi, Remus," I said softly, doing my best to not look him in the eye in case he saw that as a threat.

The werewolf didn't reply, though his eyes did meet mine for a second. He did not try to come onto the porch or reach for his son. But he did say Teddy's name softly as he laid two objects in front of the porch steps.

Then he looked into my eyes again until I lowered them in discomfort. A moment later, he was gone.

====

When I was sure Remus had left, I stepped off the porch to examine the objects he put on the ground. As I bent down, it was easy to see why he said Teddy's name when he left them. The carved wooden train and profile of a conductor were a gift for his son. So I waved my wand over them to make sure they were safe, then brought them over to the child.

As Teddy hugged the toys to him, Harry gave me a worried look. "This could mean that he's getting better...or that he wants to share with Teddy before he loses all his wits."

"We have to believe the former." I sat in my chair heavily, knowing Harry was right. "I'll try to get him back to us until school starts. If I've made no progress, I'll talk to Bill Weasley about how to make sure he doesn't harm the children."

Harry's expression turned a little more hopeful at my words. "Do whatever you can. He didn't even look at me, but he stared at you almost the whole time he stood here. So you probably have the best chance. But make sure you talk to Madame Pomfrey, and ask us for help if you need. Especially if he hurts you. He's not a Carrow. You might actually make him worse if he can tell that he caused you pain."

I agreed. "Right, this is the man who felt guilty for not telling Dumbledore his lover was an animagus at the same time he felt guilty for not helping Sirius hide from the Headmaster. He must exasperate his wolf on a normal day."

Harry chuckled a little. "More than likely. So whatever you do, do it willingly, or ask us for help."

That was an odd statement to make. So I eyed Harry suspiciously. "You know what he needs, don't you?"

"I think I do." Harry shrugged. "There's a possibility mentioned in the book Andromeda gave you. But it takes a certain type of person to be able to do it. I know I can't handle it, but there may be others who can if you aren't willing." He held up his hand before I could ask what it was. "I don't want to say in front of Teddy. And I think when you see it, you'll need some time alone to think about it."

"Alright, then. I'll read the book tonight so I can make a decision soon."

Then we all went inside to have lunch before Harry took Teddy to Grimmauld Place for the rest of their weekend visit.

====

I sat down with Remus' book that night, as promised. After pouring myself a little firewhiskey, I sat in the chair by the front window, but resolved to not look at the monitoring orb unless it blinked. What was contained within the pages of the book was important, according to those who knew Remus best. So my attention needed to be focused there first.

I sipped my drink as I skimmed through the origin of the werewolf curse (an Ancient Greek wizards' political feud), as well as its normal symptoms (most of which I knew from my earlier contact with Remus). But when I came to the description of feral werewolves, I slowed down and read every word.

Feral werewolves were of two types: those who gave into the wolf and those who neglected the wolf. Those who gave into the wolf could return to normal on their own, as they had made a choice to become feral. Those who neglected the wolf had a much more difficult time. As Andromeda had indicated, the wolf would not tolerate being ignored. So it demanded that a price be paid before it would retreat enough to let the human resume their life.

That was where the information that Harry warned me about began. Referencing a muggle book about alternate sexual practices, the book declared that most wolves that involuntarily went feral were sexually and socially dominant.

That statement made me pause, as Remus had seemingly been overwhelmed by both Sirius and Nymphadora. His actions didn't seem didn't seem very dominant-like to me. But I shrugged and read further. Then I began to understand.

The book proceeded to separate out the domineering dominant, those who make a big deal of being in charge, from the gentle dominant. For it was the gentle dominant who was more in danger.

In human form, this type of dominant sought control of themselves more than the control of others. When they did control others, they often sought those in need of control and used persuasion to achieve their goals rather than domineering tactics. They were often mistaken for switches, those who vary in their preference of dominance or submission, because they often agreed to submit to another dominant for love or to keep the peace. But they did it grudgingly, as they were suppressing their true nature.

The wolf, however, being a beast, was domineering, even in those whose human soul was a gentle dominant. So the human side fought the rise of the wolf to keep it from hurting others. This exhausted the human and made it harder to return from the feral state.

To me, that seemed very much like the man who fled the infirmary before his wolf took control. So I downed my firewhiskey, as I had a sneaking suspicion what the book would suggest as a cure would require bearing one's neck to the feral being.

Sometimes being right wasn't very helpful.

The book suggested that to get the gentle dominant out of a feral state, they needed to be approached by a submissive who wasn't afraid of domineering postures and actions, and who was strong enough to comfort the human side when it reemerged. The wolf would require the submissive's full attention for approximately three days. But then it would start to settle back inside the lycanthrope. So for the next three days, the submissive would have to be alert for either side of the being.

This would require both sexual and nonsexual submission, by the same person. And the wolf would not be careful in their methods to get that submission.

The book then proceeded to state that there were no reports of anyone dying by going through this technique. But there were only two known successes, both in the 1400s.

I leaned back in my chair, aghast at all that I had read, especially the lack of successes. I had some thinking to do. I knew I was strong enough to endure what the wolf dished out. I had proven that my last year of school. But could I submit in an honest way, to give Remus what he needed to come back to us? 


	4. Chapter 4

The next morning I owled Harry a note with one line: "I don't know if I'm what he needs."

Harry owled back within the hour asking if Bill Weasley could stop by the cabin to talk to me after lunch. After sending a quick note of affirmation, I went to check the plants in the greenhouse. Suddenly I was very nervous. I knew Bill was coming to help me answer the question I implied to Harry.

I walked slowly back to the cabin after my lunch in the Great Hall. When I saw the eldest Weasley child sitting on my porch, I stopped and asked him without preamble, "How do I help him, really? I'm often intimidated, but I don't really think I'm submissive."

Bill didn't seem disturbed that I dispensed with pleasantries. He just stood up calmly.

"But we all know you aren't really intimidated by Remus. So if you're at all submissive, you have a chance. Most people don't want to be dommed by someone they're truly frightened of." Bill replied easily, coming down off the porch. "Such a set up, whether for play or lifestyle, is about a relationship. You can't have a productive relationship if your main emotion around the other person is fear."

I heard the hope in Bill's voice, but I was still skeptical. "But I ran the resistance when Harry was gone. Isn't that a sign of dominance?"

"It's possible," Bill nodded. "But switching between dominance and submission is also possible. And some submissives do lead people outside of their primary relationship." He pulled out his wand and cast an obscuring spell around the porch and front yard. "Wolves are actually decent judges of character. I found that out once Greyback gave me mine.  But it's a tricky business relating to the wolf inside you.

"Greyback let his wolf run wild. And Remus tries to stifle his too much. But if you try to find balance with the wolf, it becomes a pretty good advisor. I think I have a decent relationship with mine. So let me see what he tells me about you."

I nodded my assent, then watched carefully as Bill circled around me, sniffing at my shoulders, my hair, and at one point, the curve of my stomach. After about 20 minutes of this, he stopped in front of me. "My wolf suspects you're a very picky switch," he said softly. "You have something of Remus' on you, don't you?"

"No, I don--Oh! I almost forgot about that." I reached into my robe pocket and pulled out the locket that I used to hold the threads that had fallen from Remus' tweed jacket 6 years ago as the 3rd years faced the boggart. I didn't really understand why I had picked them up, other than they seemed meaningful in the way the gum wrappers from my Mum were. Devoid of meaning themselves, but reminders of grander emotions. With the gum wrappers, it was love. With the threads, it was courage and solidarity. 

On that day, Remus gave me courage to face my fears and showed me that the worst things in life are easier to handle with someone by your side. So I took that lesson and those threads. The reminders helped me survive torture and defeat a snake.

I showed the locket to Bill. "The threads are from the jacket he wore during my third year. I took them because I really liked his first lesson."

Bill smiled at me with a twinkle in his eye. "I heard it was rather instructive. And he obviously taught you well during it, because you trusted his opinions afterwards."

I shrugged. "Of course. But I trusted Harry, Hermione and Ron too."

"Do you carry reminders of them around?" Bill leaned against the tree that I suspected Remus had hid behind when Teddy was here.

"No, but I saw them every day."

"You also saw him most days, for eight months after you took those threads." Bill held up a hand as I started to protest. "All I'm saying is you considered him and his lessons important, nothing more. And because you still consider that initial lesson important, his wolf seems to find you important. We know that you're willing to listen to him. Now let's see if it can go further than that. Close your eyes."

Although part of me, the part that kept me as safe as possible during the war, told me not to put myself in such a vulnerable position, I knew I needed answers. So I took a deep breath and closed my eyes.

"I have no intention to harm you," Bill whispered as I flinched when he laid a hand on my back. "I just want to focus you on a thought, an image."

I reminded myself that this was necessary. So I took another deep breath, then nodded a little more calmly. "I'm ready now."

"Think of Remus coming up behind you," Bill said slowly. "This hand on you is his. He swings in front of you, looking like that wise, enthusiastic teacher from your third year. But this time, he doesn't want you to fight a boggart. This time, he asks you softly to kneel before him, so that he can teach you how to please him."

Bill's steady voice made it easy to imagine Remus before me. And I found that this was an image that I wanted to think of. My mind ended up making my imaginings so life-like that before I realized it, I was on my knees.

Bill let out a breath in a whoosh, breaking my concentration and bringing my attention to the fact that I was kneeling in my front yard without caring for a plant. I tried to hold back my embarrassment, but I could feel my face turning red.

Bill chuckled softly as he helped me up. "I think I can tell Harry and Fleur that we found somebody more appropriate to help Remus. Fleur didn't think I should try because my relationship with her might annoy Moony, even though I'd be willing to submit to help him. Harry's a switch like you, but he's too close to being Remus' nephew or godchild for Moony to accept him. So if you're willing, I'll train you on what to do."

This was what I wanted, but I found myself having to convince myself that I could handle it. Bill waited patiently as I struggled with my feelings. But within a few minutes, I said, "I'm willing. Can we start now?"

"There's no time like the present, especially since it seems to be easy to get you to focus." Bill guided me to a section of the yard that was gleaming with sunlight. It seemed odd to me, since most of what I was supposed to do was usually best suited for darker places.

But I found the light comforted me for the moment. So I confessed, "Remus has always been easy for me to focus on, for a variety of reasons."

Bill nodded. "Well, I'm going to try to add one more reason. I read the book Andromeda gave you, but I've also saw the technique used, successfully, to bring back a feral wolf who broke from the stress of Greyback taking over her pack. She was so horrified by his presence that she neglected her wolf."

I shook my head at the thought. "She almost gave Greyback what he wanted."

Bill agreed with a nod. "I believe that she felt trapped. She had a five year old child, who Greyback seemed to be eyeing oddly."

I shuddered, as I knew what he was implying. Greyback had liked to make very young werewolves. Then I did my best to focus on the important part of Bill's statement. "You said that someone used the book's suggestion on her?"

The elder Weasley smiled softly. His voice was gently instructing when he replied, "Her partner did, with a few additions. He only gave into the wolf completely when he saw signs that the human was present as well. He believed that was why it worked. He gave the wolf conditions for his surrender, ones that made it easier for the human to reemerge. And if Black's stories are to be believed, Moony should catch onto you demanding Remus' presence rather quickly. Because Black did during the full moon, according to Andromeda. Most experts believed that was impossible, so either Black was really persuasive or Moony is one sharp wolf. I can't speak on the former, but given Remus' intelligence, I'd bet on the latter.

"You don't want to tell the wolf what you are doing, because that will make the him angry. But if you only obey the wolf when you see Remus in his eyes, it'll be easier to get him to retreat."

That made sense, at least in theory. "But how do I recognize when the wolf is allowing Remus to be present?"

Bill straightened and came close to me. "I'm going to show you what to pay attention to. First here, where it's easier to see, then we'll try it in the cabin. I'm going to bring my wolf forward. I want you to tell me what changes when I do. It will probably be a little different each time, so watch carefully. Ready?"

I nodded as I focused on his face.

Bill closed his eyes for a moment, then opened them and stared straight at me. "I'm bringing it forth...now."

A moment later, I saw it. "Your eyes changed color."

"Good, that's usually an easy one to spot, even in low light. Let's try again." He closed his eyes again but this time looked away when he opened them.

But the shift was rather easy to spot. "You twitched."

Bill nodded. "Good."

We continued out in the sunlight for an hour, then by candlelight in the cabin's small dining room for another hour. But in the dining room, he made me tell him when he shifted the wolf forward. By the end of the second hour, I was missing only the subtlest signs.

When we were finished, Bill gave me a suggestion. "Sit on your porch this evening, right around sunset. From what Harry tells me, the wolf finds you attractive. Be where he can see you. I'm pretty sure he'll make you an offer rather quickly. But keep in mind that Moony is as smart as Remus. If you are faking anything, he will know. So don't offer more than you feel comfortable giving."

The other man pulled a coat button from his pocket. "Harry suggested I make a 'panic button' for you in case you got in over your head. So if you squeeze this, one of us will apparate to you. Don't be afraid to use it if you need to. Remember, Remus wouldn't want you hurt."

I nodded. "Thank you."

"You're welcome. Oh, and wear something that reflects your eyes. Remus told Harry once that it must be nice to be friends with someone who has such gentle eyes."

And with that, I was left on my own to prepare.


	5. Chapter 5

I wanted to entice the wolf, and hopefully guide Remus back when the wolf was at its weakest, between now and the new moon. So I needed to start that evening. But first I went to talk to Madame Pomfrey, as Harry had advised.

When I mentioned to the medi-witch that I was going to try to help Remus, a big wave of relief seemed to break over her face. "Thank goodness they found a match for him! That poor boy needs the help, badly. But with the only technique that seems to be useful being so demanding and intimate, I wasn't sure anyone would be able to try it. And you're just perfect. You have the patience for this. So let me get you a few things that might help you."

She turned and unlocked a small trunk that had been hidden in a wall.  Pulling a bag out of the trunk, she motioned me behind a curtain. A moment later, she joined me and opened the bag.

The medi-witch whispered, "We need to be discreet in case one of the parents is around checking the condition of the school. But I'm not going to let you handle this without the necessities."

She held up a bottle of clear liquid. "This bottle contains something you will need during sex. The printed book will give you instructions on how to use it. The handwritten book is by Sirius Black, it's the diary he kept of the wolf's behavior on and off Wolfsbane, for when Severus was making the potion. Do ignore the insults in it, those boys never made peace with each other. I also included a set of safe magical restraints, as William told me many wolves like to restrain submissives. They can be set beforehand to respond to a word, and release you. The card of the shop I went to is in the bag, in case you need anything else. There are also lotions and pain potions to use afterwards, if needed. And I'm connected to your panic button. You only need to say 'healer' if you need me."

Overwhelmed by all this, I just nodded as she rattled off the contents of the bag. And felt very relieved that I could get her quickly. But then I thought about Remus' current condition. "I might not be the one in need of a healer, though."

Madame Pomfrey nodded sadly. "You're right. The glimpses I've seen of him have me worried. He's malnourished even though Hagrid makes sure he has food every few days, and I think he's gotten into fights with a few of the centaurs. Give me your button for a second, if you have it on you."

She waved her wand over it as I held it in my hand. "There, just say 'supplies' if you need something, but it's too risky for me to come. I'll make up a kit for you, with an instruction sheet."

I nodded, blushing as I thought of the things I might need to treat on Remus. Then I stammered out a 'thank you' before heading back to the cabin to find an appropriate robe.

====

I was ready as the sun began to set, in a tan and green robe (Hannah Abbot had told me that my eyes reminded her of my garden, so I tried to find a robe that said 'garden' to me somehow.) I had read Madame Pomfrey's little books and owled Bill a set of questions about submissive play that he replied to extremely quickly. I guessed he was on Hogwarts grounds or in Hogsmeade in case I needed his help. That comforted me as I settled in the chair nearest the porch steps.

My prey (for weren't we both predator and prey in this situation?) joined me at the front of the house as pink swaths filled the sky.

He eased himself from behind the tree in the front yard, and approached the porch with a slight swagger to his step. I tried to ignore the haggard look of him for the moment, as it made me want to bundle up my professor and feed him hot soup. But the wolf's gleaming amber was in his eyes. My professor's soft hazel was nowhere to be seen, yet.

"Neville Longbottom, nicknamed the Sword of Gryffindor," the wolf said in a soft growl as he put one foot on the bottom porch step. "It looks like you're waiting for something, or someone."

I was startled to hear him speak. I had expected him to communicate in growls and motions. But the human form had a much easier way of making its wishes known. So why shouldn't the wolf use Remus' voice?

I responded in kind, with just a bit of cockiness. I didn't want to appear as if I were ready to bow at his feet, even though part of me was. "Oh I am," I said softly. "I'm waiting for one of the heroes of the Great Hall battle to return to us. We need his strength."

The wolf climbed the steps of the porch like it was his cabin instead of mine. But I saw his shoulders twitch as he stood in front of me, just like Bill's had earlier. Good. I could bargain with the wolf right then and Remus would know.

"The hero you seek is a coward. He is afraid of his shadow. The one that is shaped just like me on full moon nights. But I could give you strength." The wolf trailed a finger down my cheek. Bill was right. Moony was smart. He knew I was after him. But he didn't seem to care at the moment.

So I went ahead with my plan before I lost my nerve. "What would I pay you in return for that strength?" I asked coyly, trying to keep from blushing as he smiled wickedly.

He leaned back as his eyes raked over me. "I haven't had anyone serve me in many years. I find I miss it. I think you would do nicely as my next servant."

Though the wolf sounded supremely confident, his eyes suddenly flashed a color that matched mine, and his face twisted into a grimace.

'Not so fast, Remus.' I thought as I sat up straighter. 'You're exhausted. Let me care for you for a few days before you try to take over again.'

But aloud, I replied, "I am in need of your strength, so I will pay your price. But please, let me serve you in the cabin. Although your spot in the forest is cozy, the cabin is more comfortable for what I believe you're suggesting."

The wolf looked through the window behind me. He nodded and leaned over me as he said, "I'll give it, and you, a trial tonight. If our time together is satisfactory, I'll come tomorrow at sunset and we'll strike the real bargain, the one that will get you the coward back."

My eyes went wide. He knew exactly what I was attempting! "I-I.." I stammered, not sure how to reply to that.

Moony put a finger to my lips. "Hush, young one. You are not our Padfoot, who served both of us so well. But if you are out here, bargaining with me, you too have strength. He needs a strength to bolster his. He is better with support. And if you can learn to care for me as well, I will be content to let him back into your world. But I will not stand to be neglected again, as SHE did."

"I will do my best to learn, Sir." I bowed my head just a little, letting him know he was in charge.

"Good, then call his things from the Forest and let's begin your lessons."

I stood up, still with head bowed. Then I waved my wand to summon Remus' meager possessions and let them float into the cabin as I trailed the wolf into my living room.


	6. Chapter 6

To save Remus Lupin, I let a fierce beast into my living room. Part of me was as frightened by this as I had been by Voldemort. I could not hide the tremor in my hand as I closed the door. I was worried this would antagonize my guest, but the wolf seemed unconcerned. He just sat in the chair by the window, the one I had settled in to watch for his presence the last few nights. 

The beast picked up the orb on the table and eyed it curiously. Then he beckoned me over until he could gaze up at me with that same curious look. "Why are you so concerned about us, young one? We're not of your inner circle. To attempt such a complex and taxing cure, you must feel more than pity for your professor's condition."

Blushing, I nodded. "He is a good man. I was not lying about Remus' strength. But he also has compassion and often attempts to understand others as he wants others to understand about you."

"He has his moments of wisdom, even I cannot deny that. But I think you have another reason, or I would not have been so easily drawn to you." The wolf leaned forward as his amber eyes held mine. "Have you perhaps been hiding a crush on your former teacher for all these years?"

My face turned redder, but I forced myself to nod again.

The wolf smiled smugly as he leaned back. "That may benefit us. For it gives you incentive. But without understanding and respecting me, it will be of little use. Because he draws on me for his strength at times, even though he denies it." 

Moony waved at the floor in front of him. "Kneel for me, young hero. Let's start our first lesson. I will begin your trial with some easy tasks. In return for your obedience, I will tell you why he needs me."

This was so similar, and yet not, to what Bill had made me imagine that afternoon. Part of me felt ready to obey any word he said. But the part that had protected me for the last few years wanted me to get up and leave.

But I couldn't leave Remus to suffer. So I pushed my strength down and let the wolf see the rest of me. I knelt in front of him. A second later, Moony's hand was gently running through my hair. Without looking for Remus in the wolf, I leaned into the beast's hand. But then the wolf's eyes lightened, showing hints of green. I sighed with relief.

Moony smiled at the sound. "I will not let him free today, but I will let him see you. We must make good impressions on each other if we are to strike a mutual bargain tomorrow. So I want you to understand who you are speaking to right now."

"I think I know, Sir," I said softly and respectfully. For the wolf was rapidly earning my respect, as his other side had in that classroom in the castle. He was not the wild being that Greyback had been. Moony was fierce, but self-contained somehow.

It showed in the calm way he eyed me. "You are an observant one, so you may indeed. Who am I?"

The other reason for my respect of Moony was in the answer to his question. "You are partly the curse, and partly Remus' anger and pain. The emotions he cannot express for fear that everyone will call him a beast."

The wolf ran his hand through my hair again. "Fighting against the one even I would call a foul beast has given you some wisdom. You are correct. The combination is stronger within us than other lycanthropes, because I have been with him since he was very young. But I know I should not be speaking to you now. Unlike other wolves, I know my place. I know we will die if I remain in control for too long. Because we almost did after our pack was broken by Voldemort's rat."

I gasped softly. "You went feral before? After Harry's parents died?"

The wolf nodded. "My rising nearly made your professor take his own life. But his anger brought him strength after a few days, and he was able to remind me of my place. Because the foul beast was still out there and needed to be brought down. He needed to be in control to aid that effort. This time, however, that danger is gone and he no longer knows *his* place."

That surprised me. Didn't Remus know we needed him even more now? "His place is helping us, teaching us, and raising his son."

"He needs to be reminded of this, a task for which I think you are well-suited. And I hope to give him one more purpose before I let him return. For now, let us start with teaching. You are doing well in obeying, better than I expected in one who defied to survive. But take off that ugly robe. It spoils my view of your body. You must buy a better one, something in jewel tones, perhaps. It would contrast well with your skin."

My earlier efforts were wasted on this being. I knew I should have asked Hannah for advice before trying to look 'enticing'. "Yes, Sir," I muttered as I removed my robe and knelt in front of him again in my underwear.

Moony tapped my lips softly. "Hush. You have had more important things to consider than clothing in the last few years. But you now have the time to think of them, so I'd like to see you in something more flattering. Perhaps you can find something for your professor as well. He dresses abysmally."

"I will try." I whispered as he took off the shirt he was wearing, which once was white, but now was the shade of a cloudy sky. A moment later, I let out a gasp. Under the shirt, a gash dissected his chest.

Moony looked down dispassionately at where blood leaked from one corner of the wound. "Centaurs leave permanent marks, even on werewolves."

"Please, sir," I pleaded quickly, realizing that if the curse could heal the gash, it would have done so by now. "If I'm to serve you, let me get some things to fix that wound."

The wolf sighed in annoyance but nodded. "You may. I suppose this task has a use. I need to see if you are as competent as Padfoot. But do not dress. I want to admire you as you see to my needs."

In my nervousness earlier, I had left Harry's button on my kitchen counter. So I hurried out there to call for Madame Pomfrey's supply kit and to heat up the soup that I had made that afternoon to give to Remus.

The wolf chuckled when I returned to the living room with a basket of magical first aid and a tray of food. "You are competent indeed. Your professor is glad that you are in contact with the witch who heals us so well. She had handed Padfoot that basket many times."

I shrugged. "I know more about growing the ingredients in these potions. She is better at their use. But she gave me instructions, so hold still while I apply a few of these."

"And here you are different than my packmate. Bill was right about your preferences," Moony said smugly as he obeyed. "Switches are often better at deciding when and how to obey the ones they serve, because they know both sides. So you may give us things even Padfoot couldn't."

"Hmm," I muttered, storing his words, but paying more attention to the wound I was spreading a salve on. "There, it's already looking better."

"Competent hands as well." The wolf caressed my free hand for a moment, until I pulled it away to put the food tray in his lap.

"Eat so you have the strength to play the games that will teach me how to care for a wolf." I leaned back on my arms so he could see my body fully. He didn't say that I couldn't play games to entice him, so I took advantage of my position. I didn't really like my body. I was both too tall and too fat. But if the wolf liked what he saw, it was worth taking advantage of that.

Moony didn't seem to mind. He just studied me quietly as he ate. "Your lack of fear is a good start. Respect is important. Fear gets in the way. Fear feeds the anger and makes it easier for us to lose control."

"You respect me, or seem to." I shifted so I could see his eyes better. Their color changed back and forth between amber and hazel as we spoke.

But the way Moony accessed Remus' mind as if it were his right disturbed me a little. "You are worthy of it, and of the worry he has that I will accidentally provoke memories of the foul ones."

But that too had its uses. Because of that access, I knew my next words would comfort Remus. "I came across an idea that may help with that. My resources from Madame Pomfrey suggested I should use a safe word in our lessons. May I?"

Moony nodded calmly. "Choose your word."

I looked him straight in the eye, for I wanted to see how the beast would react to being provoked. "Nymphadora."

The wolf growled. "I will allow it, but use it wisely, as the reminder of her may upset the balance between us."

His posture said he wanted to refuse me even though he just agreed. In this, however, I would not allow him the upper hand. My safety was necessary to make sure Remus recovered. "If you provoke memories of Voldemort or the Carrows, the balance will already be in ruins."

Moony inclined his head in acknowledgement, then set his tray on the coffee table. "Think carefully about striking our bargain tomorrow. If I or Remus are not worth remembering those beasts, even momentarily, you may need to reconsider. I will honor your boundaries, but I will most likely hit them a few times."

Given what we would be doing, he was probably right. "Then let tonight be a trial for both of us."

The wolf stood and offered his hand to help me up. "Now that you are sure that I won't collapse on you, I feel the need to try out your bed, and your mouth."

Puzzled by the last of his words, I pondered them as I followed him.

The wolf must have seen my confusion, because he said, "I'm sure someone gave you something to read on the subject of sex. Let's see what you've learned about the oral version." He then propped himself against my headboard and pulled me on top of him. I tried to not chip a tooth on the zipper of his pants as he shoved me into the right position.

His warning came back to me as I found myself wanting to push him away. He was right. Being submissive was going to provoke frightening memories in me, no matter how badly I wanted to help him. Because it made me vulnerable.

But Moony was patient with me, and waited for me to decide to leave or continue. When I could finally take a deep breath and unzip his pants, I heard him sigh. I looked towards his face to see his eyes shining as green as the day of that first lesson in third year. I smiled a little nervously. When he smiled back, without the wolf's smugness, my crush on him became just a bit bigger.

"You're doing well, young one." Even as his eyes returned to amber, his voice was soft and coaxing. Now that I understood Moony had absorbed parts of Remus' personality, it became easier to trust him as well. So I returned to my task.

Doing my best to remember what I read, I licked and sucked at his cock. I did not swallow him down, as was suggested in the book on sex, because his length was imposing. But I did listen to his moans above me, to guide my lips and hand. My attention to his wants soon had him gasping.

To my surprise, I found that I was aroused by his pleasure. I ended up squirming on the bed as I stroked him towards completion.

"More instruction is needed, but you have made a good start. That deserves a reward." The wolf murmured as he pulled me up next to him and wiped my face clean with the handkerchief that had been on my nightstand.

A wave of his hand had me feeling a pressure inside me, right where I'd like part of him to be. The pressure built until I was gasping with sudden pleasure. A moment later, I came with a scream.

As the world returned to me, Moony was resting with me wrapped in his arms. When I opened my eyes, he said, "You have given me much to think about, young one. You have potential, but you come with vulnerabilities and conditions I doubt you are aware of. I promise to return in the evening. But you must also consider what we will be doing. For neither of us will leave unchanged. And I cannot promise your change will be for the better. So I will need time before I decide if I will take your offer. Rest now. We will talk again at sunset."

I heard his words, but I was so tired at this point that I couldn't reply to him. So I let myself fall asleep.

When I woke in the morning, he was gone.


	7. Chapter 7

Moony left me a note on my nightstand before I woke. It said, in Remus' neat handwriting, "If I see you submitting to me at sunset, I will know that you wish to bargain for the return of your professor. If I do not see this, I will know that you are unwilling or unable to risk your being for his."

So I did as the wolf suggested. I pondered the situation all day. Though part of me was horrified by the vulnerable position I was in last night, another part found it comforting. I had struggled to be in charge during the war, even though I had known it was necessary. There hadn't been anyone else to keep the younger students safe. Unfortunately, that meant that I had had very few moments of comfort myself. And after the war, there was no comfort in the demands that I relive the events in narratives so they could be put into history books. But now, I wondered if the six days I needed to ease Remus back into the world could be used to help me heal.

That thought was on my mind as I went to Professor McGonagall to ask her to ward the area around the cabin for the next week, as I knew some students would be arriving early. She agreed readily, having talked to Madame Pomfrey about the situation the day before.

"I will make sure Poppy can enter, as well as Harry and Bill Weasley. And of course, Remus. Contact me if you will need anyone else or if the situation becomes an emergency." Professor McGonagall patted my hand. "And please tell Remus we waited for someone who could help him the right way because we didn't want to make it worse. But he hasn't been a burden on any of us. He has a home here as long as I'm here."

"I will. I think he knows, or he wouldn't have come back so close to the school." I smiled. A moment later, my pocketwatch chimed and told me it was time to do my errands. "I have to do a bit of shopping. Can you leave me a note when the wards are set?"

"Of course. Good luck." She squeezed my hand then watched me leave. A moment before I opened the door, she had a desperately hopeful look on her face. I knew it mirrored mine.

====

My thoughts had moved onto whether I was enough to comfort Remus as he reemerged by the time I walked into Madame Malkin's.

But I realized that help on that task was a mere question away. For when I said that I wanted to give Remus Lupin a few new things, the Madame quickly steered me to soft cotton sweaters and functional robes, the ones that seemed to make my former professor comfortable. But they were choices that I knew the wolf would also approve of, because they were tailored well and had an air of professionalism that Remus' aged outfits were missing. 

Then she steered me towards bright robes for myself. Although many flowers had been referred to as jewels, I didn't know you could combine the ideas into a robe until I saw the one Madame Malkin pulled out of a dark corner. For it appeared both garden like and like jewels at the same time. After I put on the lightweight emerald robe with gold trim, even I understood Moony's comment about the nice contrast with my skin.

So I bought the outfits, plus a few more things for both of us (as I suspected most of Remus' clothes were ruined, and I needed a few more outfits for the school year).

I sent my packages to the cabin, then went to the store on the edge of Knockturn Alley where Madame Pomfrey bought the restraints. There, I picked up a few devices and toys that the muggle sex book had suggested. But I did so quickly. I didn't want to be there long. Although I was solidifying my decision to help Remus in the intimate way the wolf demanded, I wasn't ready to tell anyone else about it.

====

When I returned to the cabin, I made myself eat a good dinner before sunset and prepare food for Remus that I then laid on the table by the front window.

Looking out the window, I decided to take a bath and try to calm myself. For, like Remus, I really hadn't been taking good care of myself for awhile, probably since Harry left to find the horcruxes. More than anything else, the argument I had with myself while trying to relax in the bath made me realize that I needed help. I needed reminders, maybe even orders, to make sure I didn't wear myself out unnecessarily. Could Moony offer some guidance in this? Part of me hoped so.

After my bath, I put on the robe Moony requested, and found one of my clean gardening mats. I used the mats to pad my knees when I knew I would be digging in the ground for some time. I had a suspicion that the wolf would make me wait while he considered what he wanted to bargain with for Remus' sanity. So the mat would help me stay somewhat comfortable, and therefore submissive, while I waited.

So I went out on the porch, put the mat down, and prostrated myself towards the corner of the front yard where the tree sat. 

My hand trembled slightly as I waited for my professor to arrive. In fact, my whole body started shaking slightly as I did my best to not lose myself in worry as the day faded. The sun almost set before he let me know his decision. By then I had hid my steadily vibrating hands in my robe sleeves.

He came to me very silently. So silently that I only knew he was there when I saw a strong leg stop in front of me.

A moment later, I felt his hand card through my hair. "I am pleased. You have done your best to give me what I've asked." He fingered my clothing. "This is much better. The other robe is best used for your gardening."

"Thank you, Sir," I said softly without raising my head.

I saw a hand reach down to cup my chin. It slowly guided me so that I could look the wolf in the face. When I did, he smiled almost gently. "I am willing to strike a bargain with you for your professor's life. I would like you to serve me for six days, then I wish for you to serve us both for two days and nights each month. The days around the full moon."

I didn't expect our relationship to continue after Remus returned to us. So curiously, I asked, "For how long, Sir?"

"For at least two years. I'd prefer the rest of our life, but two years should be long enough for him to recover adequately."

Knowing what I did about Remus, the request seemed practical. The poor man had never really gotten adequate time or help to adjust to the big changes in his life. Most likely because he really didn't know how to ask for help. So Moony was providing him with a way to get it, me.

I was certainly able to do this, so I didn't see any reason not to accept. "I will do as you say, willingly. I will make arrangements with Professor McGonagall to make sure I can. It shouldn't be a problem." I reached out to touch his leg, just to connect with him and feel the life I was helping. When I did so, the wolf's eyes instantly turned green and his head bowed slightly.

Without thinking, I reached to touch his cheek, to soothe Remus. The moment we were connected, the eyes turned amber again, but the wolf accepted my touch as I believed Remus would, by leaning into it.

"Come, young one," he said softly as he guided me to my feet. "We have much to learn about each other. Six days may not be enough for all I want to know before I return you to your life."

Somehow, I knew I'd also not learn enough about Moony in six days. So I hurriedly gathered my mat and followed my dominant into the cabin.


	8. Chapter 8

The wolf, now that he had what he needed in me, seemed much more like Remus than he had the night before. He appeared cautious, and accepting of my choices in a way I didn't expect. He turned to the meal I left him almost immediately and distractedly sat in the chair by the window to eat. He seemed to debate what to do with me as he spooned potatoes into himself.

Even though his distraction made me nervous, I was glad to see him eat well. I had figured that if I failed at being submissive, I could at least lower his energy use and make sure he had enough to sustain himself.

But the wolf didn't seem disappointed in his choice of submissive as he beckoned me over to kneel by his side. "I like that you can anticipate what I need. You have been doing that since you discovered that I was in the Forest, haven't you?"

I settled there easily and answered him, "I did my best. Food, clothing and comforts are things we all need, and it was easy to discover your preferences. I'm afraid that I won't be as good in anticipating the..baser needs, however."

"But you are a good listener, so learning to anticipate those needs shouldn't be difficult for you." The wolf pulled me closer to nip at my lip. I reared back a little from the pain, but Moony held me tightly.

"Your pain will give me pleasure," he growled against my cheek.

When I shuddered painfully from remembering the torture I had under the Carrows, Moony shook his head. "Not to see you bowed, young one. To see you enhanced. Pain done correctly can give you pleasure."

The book on sex had suggested this was true for some people, but given my experience with pain, I was skeptical. "How?"

"By focusing you, by heightening your senses. I want to show you this. I want to give your pain back to you, as well as your control of it. We understand that the feral being's underlings stole that control from you. And you have suffered further because of it."

I didn't understand what he was saying until he bit my lip again. As the pain coursed through me, he turned the bite into a heated kiss. And the pleasure was like a shock to my system. It was so intense that I bit at *his* lip to get more as it faded.

Moony pulled back with a small chuckle. "I will show you more, my pupil. Let me finish eating first, so that I can spend the proper time teaching you."

Then he ran his hand over my back and coaxed me to rest against the chair as he ate what I had provided for him.

====

I drifted into a doze until the wolf put the tray aside and lifted my chin. "Come up here so we may continue that lesson."

I stood up and faced him hesitantly.

He beckoned me over, and I watched as his eyes turn completely green for a moment. After a whispered spell to reinforce the chair, his eyes returned to amber and he pulled me over to straddle his legs.

I felt awkward there, as we were the same height, but I was broader than he was. My height and weight didn't seem to bother the wolf, though, because he never lost his intent expression. He just accio'd a 'toy box' to us.

This confused me, as I had no such thing. But then the shopping bag that held the devices from the store in Knockturn Alley flew into his hand.

As he whispered the spell, his eyes turned green again. I tried not to look surprised as I noted this. Apparently the wolf couldn't perform magic. This was very useful information. Although my memory was not at its best under stress, I reminded myself that I could use that if I needed to call Remus forth later.

The wolf was looking through my bag, and didn't notice my preoccupation. So he startled me when he pulled out a set of small clamps attached to a chain that the store clerk had recommended. But as I focused on his handsome scarred face, he grinned at me. "These are perfect for teaching you about pain."

"What are they for?" I asked, showing how blindly I had followed others' recommendations in that odd store. But that had been the quickest way to get what was needed so I could leave.

"Undress and I will show you." Moony said, looking up at me. There was an oddly pensive look on his face, and a rim of green around the amber in his eyes.

Wondering what Remus was thinking as he watched me interact with his baser side, I vanished my clothes to the bedroom. All except my boxers. I wasn't ready to trust the wolf that far, yet.

Moony chuckled as he looked down at my boxers. "Still a modest one, hmm? Also relatively inexperienced, if your professor's recollections are correct. But you learn quickly, so I won't let his worrying bother me."

At his last word, he attached one of the clamps to my left nipple. I let out a gasp at the sudden sharp pain. But a moment later, the pain settled into a dull ache. And when Moony pulled my head down for a devouring kiss, the pain sharpened the pleasure of his lips and nipping teeth so that I felt my boxers become a bit tighter.

My head was swimming with pleasure as he attached the second clamp to my right nipple. It swam even more as he caressed the sensitive skin around the clamp in between his heated kisses.

"You submit to me so well, young one," the wolf growled softly. "You respond to pain so beautifully. If those fools in the school had known what a pain slut you are, they would have never let you free."

I knew Moony meant this casually. I knew at his worst, the wolf would not had thrown me to the Carrows. But suddenly, my mind flashed to the feeling of much less pleasurable pain. I nearly flew off his lap to get away from that memory.

"Nym-Nymphadora." I stuttered out. I stumbled, trying not to fall to the floor in my effort to bat the memory away.

Then the reality of my situation returned to me. This was my home and the threat was in my head, not in front of me. I couldn't look at his face as I started to realize how badly I reacted to something so small. I tried to calm myself, to apologize so we could continue. But I found I couldn't. I was shaking from the remembered agony and humiliation.

But help came from an unexpected place.

"Neville?" A soft voice came from the figure that approached me.

I looked up from where I had crouched down to protect myself from my thoughts. I was shocked to see *Remus* standing there, reaching for me. There wasn't a hint of brown or amber in his eyes. It seemed that the wolf had retreated totally in reaction to my fear.

"I-I.." Trying to tell him I was fine didn't work. My voice wouldn't cooperate. But I could reach a trembling hand out to him.

Remus immediately removed the clamps on my nipples and gathered me into his arms. "It's ok. There's nobody here but us, I promise."

Once I stopped trembling, he guided me to the sofa, where he grabbed the afghan that Molly had made for me. Then he eased both of us onto the couch and draped us in its comforting softness.

"I'm sorry," Remus murmured into my hair. "I tried to remind myself--him-- that nobody goes through a war unscathed. I've had such problems after both wars, obviously, that the wolf is fascinated by your strength."

I buried my face into his chest as I let out an ironic laugh. "Now he can see how weak I actually am."

"Don't berate yourself," Remus said sharply, in the voice he had used my third year to control disobedient students. "You were in distress from whatever memory his words provoked. You didn't do anything wrong. There is nothing weak about saying when you are in pain. In fact, you actually gave me a reprieve. Being based more on anger, the wolf is not prepared to help you with your distress. So Moony let go for the moment. He wants control of the situation, but not for you to be hurt."

I sighed as my panic began to leave me. "So you still need me to work with him."

Remus frowned. "Yes, unfortunately. But he has given me an hour to calm you and see if you need further help." 

"I'm fine. I screwed up. I took what he said too personally..."

Remus laid a hand on my back and rubbed gently. "He treated you as if you were Sirius, who actually liked to be humiliated in play from time to time. It seems to just bring up bad memories for you." He sighed. "I'm sorry I'm putting you through this. I should be the one who's stronger."

I carefully settled my head against his chest and shifted so my body rested partially on his. Part of me didn't want to take advantage of him. But another part wanted to indulge my crush a little, especially since the wolf brought him forth to help me. Having Remus present and so close helped me push the memories away.

"You were trying to be a good husband," I reminded him softly. "Andromeda said that Tonks didn't like the wolf. So you tried to lock the wolf away to please her."

"Now I have to please the wolf to get my life back." Remus' voice sounded pained, and his hand gripped my arm so tightly that I knew there would be marks when he let go.

I shrugged stoically. "Luna once told me that giving up control from time to time can be good for us, especially if you're with someone you trust. I know that I haven't been close to you like Harry has. But I promise that you can lose control around me. You can let the wolf say and do what it wants. If it hurts me again, I will say so. But the rest of the time, I will keep you safe while you're not in control. And I will make sure you make it back to us."

Then I tried to comfort Remus as he was comforting me. I tilted my head to my former professor and kissed him gently. My heart swelled as I felt him tremble against my lips. Then it nearly burst as he deepened the kiss and pulled me tighter against him.

"Thank you, Neville." Remus whispered against my cheek. "And I will make sure Moony respects you as you give him your control for my sake."

I smiled at him, because I realized earlier that he had been doing that from the moment Moony approached me on the porch the day before. "I know. I trust you."

Remus visibly relaxed at my words. So I returned my head to his chest. He stroked my arm gently, magically healing the mark he had put there in his agitation. Then we rested in comfortable silence until the hour reprieve was up. 


	9. Chapter 9

Moony returned slowly, as if he was trying to not startle me. Remus' touch just became heavier as his eyes turned back to amber. Then he reached toward my face.

"I will not intentionally humiliate you again, young one," the wolf growled softly when he tilted my chin up. There was a guilty look in the eyes that met mine.

"Thank you, Sir." I whispered as I stared back at him. "I will try to not overreact like that again."

The wolf shrugged. "We will deal with your pain from the past as it comes. I knew it would be part of our bargain from the first time I had you please me. But I would still like to show you how to take back what those fools stole from you. If you will trust me to control your pain, I can make it work for you."

I smiled as his voice lost the harsh tone at the word 'trust' and a hint of green returned to his eyes. "I will trust you," I murmured, speaking to both beings who held me.

This time, Moony pulled an odd leather strap from my shopping bag. Then he pulled me off the sofa and guided me to the bedroom. "Has anyone told you how grateful they are for your choice to endure the pain that kept the other students safe?" 

That was an odd question for him to ask. I found it disconcerting. So disconcerting that I automatically answered, "Not really. Harry and Hermione told me that they wished I didn't have to go through it..."

"But nobody has thanked you for your sacrifice. And I suppose nobody has thanked you for facing me when they could not?"

I shook my head. "Some looked relieved, but nobody said the words."

Moony eased me over to the bed. "Then let me and your professor do so. I wish to give you a little pain to remind us of your sacrifice, then pleasure to thank you. To let you be proud of what you did. For you have every reason to be so."

I eyed him carefully as I laid down. "To take control of my pain?"

The wolf smiled. "I am glad you don't hide your intelligence from me. Yes. Your pain during the war served a purpose. I want to remind you to be proud of that purpose. And the purpose of the pain I give you is to help you let go of those memories that haunt you. For my pain will lead to pleasure."

Moony moved around the bed, attaching the restraints to the bedposts. "It will take time for you to embrace the pain, so I think keeping you still will remind you to be patient. Set the restraints for your safeword. But remember, use it only if you need. Facing this will give you more control."

I grabbed my wand from where I had left it earlier, on the nightstand. Then I said the spell to set the safety feature on the restraints.

As Moony fastened me into the posts, his eyes grew a bit lighter, and his voice more instructive than commanding. "What we will be doing is hard for many. This is similar to what I made Padfoot endure after his foolish temper tantrum. Although obeying me was comfortable for him, even he had trouble with this. Your emotions may overwhelm you. You may cry, scream, or berate me. But that may be necessary for your relief. So I will only stop if you use your safeword or if you appear to be in shock."

That alone sounded both scary and comforting to me. I was allowed to cry, something I had been afraid to do in front of anyone after the war, even my Gran. Gran said I had a reputation to live up to now. To show my sadness or fear was to appear weak.

Some of my skepticism must have shown on my face, because Moony leaned over the bed to caress my cheek. "I won't think less of you if you are unable to do this, young one. Nor if you let yourself fall apart so you can reform yourself. You have earned my respect many times over. But I do ask that you give me a sign of your trust before we begin. For if I do not have it, this will not work."

"What more can I give you?" I asked softly.

"The ability to see and touch all of you." The wolf ran a finger over my cloth-covered hip.

"*Remus* may remove them," I said with challenge in my voice as I braced myself for what I was going to do. I needed to know the man I was here to help was with me before I attempted this.

Moony just chuckled. "There is the war hero. Very well, hero. I will let him do the honors. And I will keep him near in case you need him."

In the next moment, Remus' presence softened the countenance facing me. He vanished my boxers with a wave of his hand. But surprisingly, he didn't retreat immediately. He leaned to kiss my forehead and whispered, "If I have any strength left to give, I give it to you without reserve. For you have been suffering these past few years as much as I have. Go ahead and lose control if it helps you heal. I will be here for you."

Moony returned, but his expression remained gentle as he reached for the leather strap. "This is spelled to hurt, but will not leave any marks unless you wish it."

"No. No marks. At least not yet. I'm trying to erase the marks that were given to me without my consent."

The wolf nodded, an odd gentle smile gracing his face. "Then let us begin." Then he pulled back his arm so the strap would land on me sharply.

With the first instance of pain, it was as if a weight lifted from my chest and I suddenly could breathe.

My mind recalled my torture by the Carrows, but the memory was reformed and stripped of its power. For there was bright eyes staring protectively into mine, and a soft voice whispered, "Thank you, Neville." And for each crack of the strap, another memory bowed under the wolf's power and Remus' compassion.

I knew I cried out because before long, my throat hurt. I knew my face was wet with the tears I shed. But I ignored my responses. Because with every snap of that strap, with every whispered thank you, I gained a little more control over the memories that had been controlling me.

I wanted to continue until every memory was purged. But that would take more than one night, even more than six. So when I began to tire, when the pain was more hindrance than help, I whispered my safeword.

The restraints fell away in an instant. Then a warm body wrapped around me protectively.

It could have been my muddled mind, or it could have been the werewolf curse exerting its magic. But before exhaustion pulled me into sleep, I swore I heard Moony and Remus speak simultaneously. For I heard the words "I'm so proud of you, Neville." spoken with a wolf's growl in one ear and with a teacher's gentle encouragement in the other.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you're stuck on a few words, keep in mind that Remus is part Welsh.

It was late into the night when the wolf woke me. Although earlier he had said I was there to serve him, after he coaxed me out of sleep, he plied me with food and drink, then wiped me down gently with a cloth.

When I sleepily protested that I was supposed to be seeing to his needs, he replied, "You will be momentarily, young one. But neither I nor your protector wish for you to suffer needlessly. I will control your pleasure now. But I insist that you feel pleasure, not pain or hunger."

I tried to hide the chuckle that burst forth at the indignant expression that went with that statement. But he saw my amusement and smiled. "I will let you serve my other needs in the morning, fy arwr. But tonight, now that you are more in control of yourself, I wish to use your body to please us both."

"I know I have much to learn about this way of serving you," I whispered, feeling regret that I didn't have more experience with sex.

"So you will learn. There is no shame in that." Moony shifted me so I lay on my stomach. "And what I wish to do is something that I believe is unknown to you. Unless the underlings were crueler than your protector suspects."

He ran a gentle hand over my backside as I wondered why Remus had gone from my professor to my protector in the wolf's words. But when his hand stopped moving, I looked up into questioning amber eyes and realized Moony was waiting for a response from me.

He tapped a finger on my lower back as I stared at him in confusion. "How cruel were they, young one?" he growled softly, almost threateningly. Whatever he was referring to seemed to make both the wolf and Remus angry, because the growl didn't stop when his eyes flashed green.

After a moment of bewilderment at the pressure of his hand on my rounded backside, I suddenly understood what he was asking. "Oh. No. They didn't try anything like that. They said I was too fat and ugly."

The wolf's growl turned fierce before he relaxed. "I am glad you didn't have to endure such advances. But their views need adjustment. Your form matches your eyes. It is gentle and soft enough to comfort. And those fools should have looked to their master for ugliness. To us, your face is as pleasing as the silver of the moon or...chocolate."

I laughed as his eyes turned green and Remus winked at me. When the green faded back to amber, Moony seemed to smile indulgently at us both. "You do comfort him. And he is willing to see where our bargain leads us. So let me teach you how to please us. Perhaps he will learn something as well."

Strong hands traced my shoulders, kneading firmly. But he didn't ask anything of me. I suspected that my job at this point was to lie there and accept whatever he did. So I settled into the sheets and waited.

But he surprised me. I had thought, a few days ago when I was pondering this, that I would be baring my neck to the wolf to satisfy his lust and need for power. I didn't expect it to be necessary to satisfy Remus' endless curiosity as well.

I could hear Remus' concern for me when Moony asked, "Have you ever been with a man before?"

But I could only shrug. "No, but not because I didn't want to be. I just never got the chance."

Moony kneaded my backside with strong fingers. "That is understandable, considering what you were enduring.  I need to know where to begin your lessons though, so that they benefit us both."

"I did read up on the subject when I could during school," I whispered as my face turned red. "Madame Pomfrey recently gave me a book as well."

"Then the way I wish to claim you should not be a mystery," the wolf said as his finger trailed in the crease in my backside, touching me in a way that nobody had before. I jumped when his finger touched my entrance and sent a shiver of pleasure through me.

I was so close to the dreams I had during my last year of school that I couldn't help but give Moony a pleading look.

I had dreamed of Remus, I had dreamed of the wolf to escape the stress of leading the resistance. At times, I even closed my eyes and imagined that the Carrows' dragging me around was the wolf taking what he wanted. That never lasted long though, as they were crueler than I would ever want in an intimate situation. But those seconds of imagination were probably why I wasn't more of a wreck currently.

My body shifted toward his hand even without my command. I knew I wanted his length within me. I knew that somehow, with him reaching that pleasure center inside me, I could lose myself, and escape the tension that had been with me for so long. I didn't know how the wolf convinced Remus to touch that spot with magic the day before, but remembering the feeling it produced and the thought that Remus wanted me to feel good made me shiver in anticipation again.

I heard Moony chuckle above me as he eased two lubricated fingers into me. "I thought I would need to teach you the value of begging. But as this is your first time, it will not persuade me to work faster. Putting you in pain won't benefit either of us."

He pushed firmly on my back until I laid flat once again. Then he stretched me from the inside with just a hint of roughness in his movements. I had a feeling the wolf's patience was wearing thin, even though he knew the precautions were necessary.

So as soon as his fingers left me, I turned over and held up my arms up to the wolf. The desire to have him in me and around me was too overwhelming for me to wait. I didn't worry about Remus at the moment, for I could feel his presence in the gentle hand that touched my cheek as his naked form shifted between my open legs.

Then the wolf responded to my invitation by claiming me.

I closed my eyes when he slid into me. The pleasure and the pain were both too intense. But when I opened them again, I was amazed to find Remus' eyes shifting between amber and green almost constantly. That made me gasp almost as much as the feelings that were rocketing through me. It seemed that Moony was willing to share his reward. That somehow made the pleasure whip through me even harder.

But I gathered myself enough to give as much as I received. I wrapped my legs around Remus as the pain faded from our connection. I wanted more of the pleasure, and if the growl was any indication, so did the wolf. So I helped him thrust deeper into me. Each time I did, the wolf's growl turned into a purr. Then Remus' body shuddered hard as the green came back into his eyes.

I wanted to lose myself in the pleasure forever. But neither of us could last long under the onslaught. 

Soon I was clutching at him almost deliriously, trying to get more of him in me, around me. And his growling turned into ragged groans as he pounded into me.

I had to close my eyes under the force of the feelings within me. But I somehow pried them open just as the tension in me snapped. And I watched as Remus was thrust forward, his eyes gleaming green, just as his orgasm hit. His eyes didn't change, but I swore I heard a growl as Remus landed heavily in my arms.

Of course I couldn't think as I drifted in ecstasy. But as that ecstasy faded to contentment, I wondered why the wolf had been so unselfish.

That was until I felt Remus wrap himself around me and whisper, "Thank you, Neville." in my ear.

Then I realized the wolf was being supremely selfish. He was just making sure that Remus had a taste of, and would crave, the same things that he did.

Me and the power he held over me.


	11. Chapter 11

I woke later than usual the next morning. It was still early morning, however, as I had a habit of waking before my day flowers opened. So it didn't surprise me when I looked into the dawn's light, to see that Remus was sleeping heavily by my side.

I knew Moony normally didn't let him sleep well. Remus' book had said that the wolf was strongest in the night hours. But if Moony had retreated enough to let Remus sleep through the rest of the night, it was probably best to let him be until he woke himself.

So I got up quietly and made breakfast for both of us. I ate mechanically as I tried to sort my feelings in my head. But I was getting nowhere with the object of my thoughts in the bed so close above my head. I needed some space between us to be able to think clearly. So after putting a spell on his meal to keep it warm on the dining room table, I went out to the edge of the Forest to check on the Devil's Snare.

As I walked over to the plant, it became easier to make sense of the last two days. Remus' cure seemed to be going well. I didn't expect Moony to cater to his host's needs, but he seemed more than willing to as long as I was cooperative.

I considered the possibility that this cure might take less than six days, since the wolf was so easy to work with. The thought somehow made me uncomfortable. Here, away from Remus, I let myself admit that I was glad the wolf demanded that I be around after Remus returned to his life. As it was, I knew I'd miss being intimately close to him the other days of the months I served him.

My teenage crush was starting to turn into something more. I knew letting my feelings grow was dangerous, especially since Remus hadn't even had a chance to mourn his wife properly. But I couldn't help it. The man was wonderful, compassionate, understanding and affectionate in a way I hadn't expected. And though I knew that on full moon nights, the wolf would be a fierce beast without Wolfsbane, its human manifestation helped me understand that it was best to treat it with respect and caution, not fear. And I could love that beast as I ached to love the man.

But I didn't know if I was allowed to love him. How could I be enough for this amazing man? I was not in the same league as he was. During the war, all I did was stand in front of evil beings and take a beating, before picking up a convenient weapon to kill a lizard. I was still fat, unattractive, and mediocre at magic. Those thoughts put my mind into an endless circle of want and worry. Instead of being the competent herbologist I came to the Forest to be, I found myself staring blankly at the plant I wanted to treat. So I shook myself out of my reverie and started to examine it.

Oddly, it seemed to not be recovering like the other winding plants I had treated with my potions some months earlier. So I went around it, removing dead tendrils and checking for new growth. Then I knelt down to dig in the soil around it and under it. There seemed to be something toxic there and I needed to figure out what the substance was.

I was just about to remove a small piece of the root to study it, when I heard a loud growl in my ear and I was yanked backwards. My memories of the war didn't even have time to make me freeze, because I instantly recognized that growl.

Flailing, I fell on the ground to see a feral werewolf standing above me. His eyes were bright amber and he looked like heaven as he glared at me. "Are you with him? Do you serve him too?" The wolf growled fiercely.

"Who?! What are you talking about?!" I wanted to yell, but my voice squeaked out. Eyeing him cautiously, I tried to back away. In his state, he looked like he would attack me.

Then I heard the scrape of something on the large rock a few feet from the Devil's Snare. Startled and wary, I turned to see a rather handsome looking centaur watching us intently. Every time the centaur looked toward the lycanthrope, his face twisted into a fierce grimace.

Moony noticed the look and growled at him, taking a few steps towards him menacingly. I was confused by all this for a moment, then remembered Remus' injury that I healed. This probably to be the centaur he had been fighting earlier.

That would explain why the two beings were glaring at each other then turning their heads to look gently towards me. Because I was there in the middle of their fight, I accidentally ended up as a prize.

But I wanted nothing to do with the centaur. So I grabbed Moony's arm and yanked him back towards the Devil's Snare. "Stop it! I wasn't here for him. I didn't even see him until a minute ago! I was taking care of this plant!"

At my words, the wolf froze. Then he shook his head before glaring over my shoulder at the centaur. "You should not have come out here until I finished staking my claim. Others want you as well. But they cannot have you."

I was starting to become annoyed by his posturing. It wasn't necessary, and he should have known that. So I reminded him. "Nobody wants me! I'm too fat and ugly for anyone to want. Remember?!"

At that, a growl burst from his mouth *as his eyes flashed green*. Then he grabbed my arm in a fierce grip and dragged me back to the cabin without a word. As soon as we were inside, he slammed the door shut, then pointed to the floor in front of the chair he sat on earlier. "Strip *completely* and get on your knees."

Trembling, I did as he commanded and bowed my head towards the floor. I didn't know what I did to anger Remus, but his reaction had me worried. Suddenly those memories from the war weren't so far away. But I held them back by sheer will. This was Remus, I told myself. He wouldn't want me hurt.

However, he wasn't above scaring me a bit. As I submitted to his will, his hand dug tightly into my hair. "You are not to disparage that which I possess again." Moony growled. The wolf seemed to be in control. But his voice sounded different somehow, almost two-toned.

When I dared to peek up, I could see his eyes flashing green again. Perhaps they were sharing control at the moment. But why was Remus worried about what the centaur thought of me?!

"I'm sorry, Sir. I won't need to go out in the forest again while I serve you. I can send Hagrid to treat the soil around the plant. The centaur will not have a chance to possess that which is yours." 

"Enough!" Remus barked sharply in his 'teaching discipline' voice as he dragged my chin up. "*He* is not the issue and you know it. You will be subject to a punishment for trying to weaken yourself. You are better than that."

Frightened by his tone, I shuddered hard and I almost said my safeword. But I paused with it on my lips. Although the word 'punishment' worried me, both sides of him seemed to care for me in a way I wasn't used to. As if I was worth the trouble my problems caused...

Oh. That was this was about. I finally let myself comprehend his words, all of them. He wasn't worried about the centaur, he was worried about what I said.

I looked into his eyes carefully, and saw a shimmer of tears. "I'm going to teach you to not do what I did, Neville," Remus whispered. "Do not bow to the words of those who don't know you."

"Yes, Sir." I whispered back. And I meant it. Because his words made me realize that this man was paying attention to what I did and learning about who I was. And I trusted that he was trying to help me. So I let him pull me to my feet and guide me to my bed. I trembled, but my fear was now about whether I could please him rather than fear of getting hurt.

This time, Remus set the safety on the restraints as he put them on me. "Release them only if you need a break. This is for your own good." he said firmly as he put my arm into the cuff.

Once I was properly restrained, Remus took the mirror from my bathroom and magically lengthened it before adhering it to the ceiling above my head with a wave of my wand.

"I should have asked Professor McGonagall for your wand." I whispered as I watched him work. 

Remus shrugged. "We seem to be enough alike that your wand accepts me. It'll be fine until I can talk to Minerva." From what I could see, he was telling the truth. If I didn't know that it was my wand, I would have sworn it was his. I liked that. It gave me a connection to him outside of the full moon.

Once the mirror was secure on the ceiling, Remus stripped off the clothes he was wearing, the ones I had bought from Madame Malkin. It was unfortunate that I only realized how well they suited him as he took them off, but I hoped there would be other times when I could admire him in good clothes.

Naked, he was even more impressive. I couldn't help but stare as he stalked over to the bed. But when he crossed his arms over his chest, I knew it was time.

I let my eyes move to my feet, hoping to let him know that I was ready to submit.

"Look at me, Neville," he said as he sat on the bed next to me. "What do you see?"

"A man who I like and admire," I whispered as I focused on him.

Remus smiled a little sadly. "That's remarkably similar to what I see when I look at you. And it's about time you realized it. This punishment may be the best way to convince you. Are you ready?"

I nodded my head. But Remus frowned at me until I said a quiet "Yes, Sir."

Then he climbed on the bed with me and began.


	12. Chapter 12

"I knew what everyone at the school thought of you the day I started teaching," Remus said as he slid between my restrained legs. "The other teachers told me I should be cautious around you. They warned me that you were clumsy, bad with magic, and most likely permanently jinxed."

"But I didn't believe a word of it. I was convinced they were underestimating you. The way you acted around the boggart showed me that I was right. And then you just kept proving me right." His strong hands shifted my head then he whispered, "Look up."

I looked into the mirror, and saw my sad face staring back at me. My body was mostly obscured by the reflection of his scarred back, and I was glad for it. I didn't need to see how I couldn't compare to him.

But then he moved to show me the scar on my shoulder where Alecto Carrow had burnt me with her wand when I dared to say that muggles could be intelligent. He traced it gently. "Do your scars make you feel ugly, like mine do to me at times? This one is so much smaller than the one I have in that spot, but so much more meaningful."

"No. Look into the mirror," he commanded as my gaze slipped to his shoulder. "My scar is testimony to truth, like yours is, but I was neither responsible for my father's foolish statement, nor complicit in what was used to make him see the truth."

When my gaze returned to the mirror, he kissed my scar. "The first year student who you protected when you were given this sang your praises to the Prophet. He said you stood there, still as marble, as that awful woman dug her wand into the spot. And that whole time, you kept Darren firmly behind your back with a wandless spell, even though the pain must have been excruciating."

"I had to," I whispered with tears in my eyes. "She was going to tear the poor kid apart if I didn't."

Remus' voice was gentle, but firm, not letting me escape what I had done. "You did what you had to do, yes. You weren't clumsy, you used your magic with all the skill Dumbledore had, and you made a difference. The ugliness was in the one making this mark, not in the mark itself. All the scars from the Carrows' cruelty just show how wonderful you are."

He traced the scar again, then moved his hand down my chest to my stomach. He shifted to my side so I could see where his hand laid, right above its rounded peak. "And this bothers you more than it should. You must realize by now that my appetite for good food is just as big or bigger than yours."

Remus' hand traced its edge. "I'd probably be larger than you, if not for Moony's need for energy. So how can I look on this with contempt? All it means is you had pleasure that helped you through our trials. And this gives me pleasure. I like to feel this softness under my hands."

Nobody ever said that before. For a moment, I wanted to free my hand so that I could try to understand what he felt there.

Remus shook his head when I pulled my arm against the restraint, but he smiled indulgently. Somehow this felt more like a school lesson than detention. "I thought this was punishment," I whispered.

"We'll get to that part in a moment," Remus murmured as he bent his head to trail his lips along my stomach. I blushed, finding that more arousing than I really should have. 

Then I heard him whisper a spell. And suddenly, my cock felt like it was encased somehow. Frozen. But my arousal kept growing as Remus pointed me to the strength of my arms and legs, and caressed the delicate skin on the insides. But I could feel that my body was resisting any relief due to the spell he had cast.

This was to be my punishment, then. Intense pleasure until it became pain. 

I looked down at his greying hair as I shuddered, partly in arousal, partly in worry. Because I didn't know how to please him to end my punishment.

Remus looked up at me, and for the first time since I struck the bargain with the wolf, his eyes appeared to be his normal hazel. "You said that nobody wanted you. To believe that, you had to be ignoring everything around you. I've seen Luna Lovegood try to entice you. Dora..." he choked a little on his wife's name, but gamely whispered slightly more brokenly, "Dora was sure Hannah Abbott was ready to fight Luna for your attention. And Firenze's lieutenant has been within three steps of you every time you ventured into the Forest, or even towards the tree out front. Moony had started fighting him over territory. But the gash you healed resulted because the centaur nearly grabbed you when you left me the blankets. And Moony already wanted to claim you."

I just stared at him in shock. "But-But.."

Remus chuckled softly as he ran his hands over me gently. "I hadn't considered you as anything but my student up to that point. But after the fight with the centaur, Moony allowed me some time to think about it. It didn't take me long for him to persuade me. You are attractive, kind, strong, intelligent, and your determination heightens all of that. Because we are here, I can add your open-mindedness, though I suppose I should have paid more attention to you earlier. You were more open-minded than I was when Harry left the school."

He kissed my breastbone. "You are desirable, and desired, fy arwr. I want you now. And I will want you when this is over." Then he positioned my head flat on the bed. "Look in the mirror, Neville."

Then he trailed nips down to my cock, where his lips just brushed the head, making me gasp. "Keep looking up and tell me what you see."

"I see me." I said softly.

"And what kind of man are you?" he asked as his hands settled on my thighs.

"A-A good one, I think."

At this, Remus let his mouth slide over the head of my cock and suck a little. My arousal spiked, but his spell was still holding relief at bay.

When his head bobbed back up, he asked again, "What kind of man are you?"

"A determined one," I replied, knowing that that trait was a large part of me. My determination had gotten me through the worst parts of these past few years.

This time, Remus' mouth lowered further on my cock and he sucked harder. But the spell still remained.

I knew I hadn't yet said enough to please him when his mouth left me and he asked his question a third time. "What kind of man are you?"

I turned my head away from the mirror to look down at my tormentor. When his eyes met mine, still that hazel, balance of wolf and man that had sustained him for more than thirty years, I knew what would end my torture.

"A wanted one."

A moment later, Remus whispered a single word, then swallowed me expertly. And I came with a scream. 


	13. Chapter 13

After my punishment, we both began to have an easier time being with each other. That afternoon, Moony ordered me around to do things I would have done for him anyway, like making him food and running him a bath. Of course I indulged him when he ordered me to wash him, without a second thought. But I didn't expect Remus to adjust the size of my tub so he could pull me into it with him for another lesson in pleasing him with my body.

I couldn't see his eyes as he pounded into me from behind. But I didn't need to. I could feel both beings in the strong thrusts that almost slammed my hips painfully into the tub and the gentle hands that shielded those same hips from the bruises that would have caused. And that gave me almost as much pleasure as his body did.

After that, we stumbled to my bed for a nap. When we woke, Remus waved my wand to bring us tea and a snack while we talked. We discussed the war and what it had done to both of us. I held his hand as he told me he missed his wife even though she was responsible for his predicament. I told him my worries about teaching for the first time. He, in his gently instructive way, gave me a few pointers nobody else had thought to say.

While we talked, I learned that Remus' insecurities weren't that different than mine. Because as our words focused on the future, he trembled. So I held him as I reassured him that Teddy knew who he was and loved him, and that Andromeda and Harry were both prepared to help him adjust to fatherhood.

It was surprising how quickly I became comfortable with the whole man. I liked being with him no matter what side of him was prominent. That made it easier when I had to ask him for help. That night, my nightmares of the past so scared me that I begged Moony for another session with the strap. He gave in only after Remus questioned me, with his hazel eyes searching my face. 

"I want to make sure that is what you need," he whispered as he rubbed my back. "It could cause you harm if you're not in the right mind for it."

"The dreams make me think the war is never ending. That we'll never be safe. I don't want Voldemort scaring me into a corner after his death."

"I'm not immune to those dreams, Neville. They haunt me too. But I'm not sure this is the best way to deal with them." Remus sighed as he played with my hair.

"Just remind me that I'm safe and with you." I buried my face in his chest as I tried to control my shaking.

So Moony hit me with the strap a few times to relegate my dreams to the past, where they belonged. But it took only ten minutes for Remus to release the restraints with a wave of his hand and to surround me with warmth and pleasure, to chase the demons away from us both.

====

The next morning became my lesson in the dangers of the wolf.

When I woke up, Remus was not in bed, and the cabin was quiet. That worried me, as the other man had been within touching distance of me constantly since our agreement started.

So I put on a pair of boxers and my dressing gown, and went in search of my charge.

I found him on the porch growling at Dennis Creevy, who was just outside the ward boundary that Headmistress McGonagall had created. There was a self writing quill hovering next to Dennis.

I groaned. Dennis worked for the Daily Prophet now. So I guessed that he was trying to get a scoop about us. But from the way Remus was looking at him, it appeared that the wolf saw Dennis as a rival.

"But I need to talk to Neville!" Dennis was saying as I stepped out the door and onto the porch. Moony growled and made a motion to head down the steps towards the younger man, so I grabbed him and yanked hard. 

"I'll talk to him, Remus. Why don't you go inside?" I said softly, looking him calmly in the eye. But the calm was only for appearances. Because my insides started to quiver as I saw that his eyes were completely amber, and his expression just seemed to get fiercer.

But I clamped down on my fear and gently pushed Remus towards the door. I let out the breath I had been holding as he started to move towards it. It looked like I was able to calm Moony. So I went down the steps.

But when I stepped outside the wards to tell Dennis to come back in a few days, the younger man reached out to touch me.

Dennis' brother Colin had worshipped the ground Harry had walked on. Dennis started his time at Hogwarts echoing his brother, but later chose to idolize me, because I had rescued his brother's body from the area by the Greenhouses after the Battle. I had come into the Great Hall with Oliver Wood, weighed down by Colin's death, to gently lay him in the corner by the Slytherin table that we had designated for that very purpose. Then I had grabbed the younger brother as he had screamed out his anguish and nearly hit his head on the table. I had held him tightly to me as he sobbed, then passed him onto Luna, who had pulled him into the crowd of defenders sitting at the Gryffindor table.

So it didn't surprise me when he reached for me. In fact, I was just about to pat him on the shoulder in return when I saw a tall blur head for Dennis.

"Remus, no!" I grabbed whatever I could to pull the blur to me, almost falling in the process. But I would not let him break the promise that Harry had told me he had made to his mother: to never make another werewolf, or kill while the wolf was present. So I held on tight.

Luckily, Dennis hadn't lost the reflexes he had gained while training in the Room of Requirements. He scrambled back a few feet while I did my best to subdue Remus.

Once I had a good grip on the lycanthrope, I yelled towards the reporter, "He's ill, Dennis! I need to take care of him for a few more days. Then I'll find time to talk to you, I promise. But I can't do it now!"

Dennis' eyes went wide as he watched us. He must have realized why I was taking care of Remus. Because Greyback and his packs had been part of Voldemort's forces, Ginny had found a book to help us understand the dangers of werewolves. And we had all shivered at the description of the ones who voluntarily went feral. In fact, that was why I had listened to Andromeda and Harry's conversation in the first place. I had not known about the possibility of becoming involuntarily feral until Andromeda told Harry that was what happened to Remus.

So the spooked look in Dennis' eyes was understandable. "Are-Are you safe?!"

"Yes! Yes. He won't hurt me. But he's not ready for company. I need a few more days to help the wolf settle." I pulled Remus as hard as I could towards me and hid his face against my shoulder. "Please don't write about this. It happened by accident. He needs to get better to raise his son. If he sees his private problems plastered on the Prophet, it might make him worse."

I felt Remus shudder against me at my words. So I held him tightly and rubbed his back reassuringly.

Dennis stared at us for a moment more, then nodded. "But if I don't hear from you in a week, I'm coming back!" He declared proudly as he stood up and gathered his quill.

"Meet me at the Leaky at six pm seven days from now. I'll be there." I promised as I edged Remus and myself back inside the wards.

Satisfied, Dennis marched off, looking like he was proud that he had defended me from some great calamity.


	14. Chapter 14

I sighed softly as I guided a subdued Remus back into the cabin. I figured that this was going to cause a setback. I had to prepare to add another day onto our bargain...But before that, I needed to make sure there were no more unexpected interruptions. Right then, my protective instincts were nearly as strong as any werewolf's.

"Can you handle two more visitors?" I asked softly as I watched his face carefully. "I don't want this happening again."

"They won't try to take you?" Moony flashed in Remus' eyes as he struggled to not clutch at me. I wasn't sure if he was still feeling possessive or if Moony's reaction to Dennis upset him. 

But I hoped both of those could be settled by my presence. So I hugged him tightly to me for a moment to let him calm a little more. "No, I'm just going to call Harry and Bill to fix the wards so nobody can see through them."

Remus, proud man that he was, raised his hand as if he were going to cast a spell. But it was trembling violently. He wouldn't have even been able to light his wand in the condition he was in.

"You're in no state to do it. Let me get some help." I whispered softly against his cheek. I didn't want other people here any more than Remus did, but I knew Harry and Bill would be respectful, and would be able to help us keep disturbances away.

I sighed with relief when the man in my arms didn't back away in stubborn independence, for once. Remus nodded against my shoulder, holding me tightly against him. "But Moony is still upset. Make sure neither of them touch you."

At his words, I could feel *my* possessiveness edge towards out of control. So I pulled back and raked my eyes over his form. He must have grabbed the first piece of clothing he could find when he heard Dennis outside. Because he was wearing a pair of my gardening jeans, shrunken to fit him, and nothing else. It was a good look on him. I could feel my boxers tighten as my eyes settled on his face.

"I will, but I think you're more in danger of being manhandled," I teased to calm us both. 

His eyes went hazel as he growled at me threateningly. "You are just as attractive."

I was secretly pleased with his reaction, but now was not the time to earn myself another punishment. "Ok, ok. I'll stop. But I didn't insult myself this time!" I gently pushed him onto the couch and draped him with Molly's afghan because I could see the fatigue his heated reaction to Dennis had caused. Then I went into the kitchen to find my button.

I gave the button a quick squeeze. A moment later, there were two other men in my kitchen.

"Where is he? Did he hurt you?!" Harry nearly yelled as he scanned the corners. Bill, on the other hand, looked straight at my face and calmly leaned against the counter.

"He's on the sofa, resting." I replied softly. Then I explained about Dennis Creevy's arrival at the front of the cabin. "I just want the wards adjusted. I'm rather bad at wards, and Remus is too upset to do it at the moment."

Harry calmed as I talked, but he frowned at the end of my story. "Dennis is more reckless than Colin was. I'll see what I can do with the wards. And I'll talk to Dennis, to make sure this doesn't make front page news."

After Harry slipped out the back door to get to work, Bill eyed me carefully. "How are *you* coping with Remus' cure?"

"I'm fine. I'm just worried about Remus." I sighed. But Bill frowned at me until I admitted, "I made it through a war. This should be simple."

"What the wolves often prefer to use to dominate, it might remind people of the war. Especially you, since you took it on yourself to protect the younger students by taking their punishments." Bill's eyes were sympathetic as he looked me over.

"Harry and Remus nearly died to end Voldemort's rule. I just handled some pain. And this...is helping with my memories of the war. He eases my pain. "

Bill's eyes widened. "The wolf isn't torturing you? I had hoped he'd be kinder to you than the other feral wolf I saw since you had been Remus' student. But it was only a hope..."

I shook my head. "No, no torture. The one time he made me remember the Carrows, he was very contrite. Remus keeps Moony in line."

"Maybe I was wrong about Remus stifling his wolf too much."

I turned my gaze to the door into the front room. "No, you weren't wrong. Moony is part of him, and nearly always has been. But when he was with Tonks, Remus ignored that. Moony's focus on me forced them to cooperate. Remus seems more settled when they are working together. It makes me wish I could somehow talk to Sirius Black."

Bill shook his head. "I wish he could have warned his cousin about this before she dated him. But basically this was the fault of an Auror who should have known better. The most important rule of working with magical creatures is respect them first."

I tamped down on the sudden burst of anger that made me want to rail at Tonks' ignorance. However, when I could breathe again, I realized it wasn't that simple. "But Remus is human first, and she did respect that part of him. Nobody teaches classes on how to help cursed beings. Our society pushes them aside, because they scare us. But they deserve to live good lives too."

Bill paced as he said, "People push us away because they are afraid of us cursing them too."

I sighed. "Living in rejection is usually worse than the curse. Remus' condition just proves that." I heard my charge shift on the sofa, and suddenly I wanted to be in the front room. "I need to get back to him..."

"Of course. If you don't mind, I'd like to check on him too. That way I can report to Madame Pomfrey."

I nodded a little warily. "Just don't touch me when we're in there. He's very possessive right now."

Bill smiled. "Most dominants are very possessive of their prized submissives. Don't worry, I'll keep my attention on him."

I knew I was a prize in Moony's eyes. But would that regard go past our time here? I couldn't help but worry as I proceeded Bill into the front room. But I was able to whisper calmly as I leaned over the sofa where Remus was dozing. "Sir, Bill Weasley's here to check on you for Madame Pomfrey."

Remus opened his eyes slowly. I let out a breath of relief when I stared into their hazel depths. Balance. Moony had settled enough that he wasn't going to attack Bill just for being here.

"He may come in, fy arwr," Remus said as he grabbed my hand in a tight grip.

Bill appeared shocked when he walked in, even before he looked at Remus. But he didn't say why, so I just let him near the sofa. He talked quietly with Remus, asking about his magic and the stability of the wolf. As he finished with his questions, Harry walked in the back door. 

"The wards are now opaque," Harry said as he came into the front room. Then he reached to clap me on the shoulder, as he had so many times before, to make sure I knew I had his support in whatever I was doing at the moment.

Afraid of Remus' reaction, I backed away, causing Harry to give me a hurt look.

Bill grabbed Harry's arm before Remus had a chance to growl. "Neville has agreed to allow only Remus to touch him until this is over."

"Oh, so then it's working?" Harry looked happier when Bill nodded. He smiled at me, then turned towards the lycanthrope. "Teddy wants to throw you a surprise party when you come home, Remus."

Remus' eyes filled with tears at the mention of his son. "He does remember me."

Harry nodded. "He has your picture by his bed and we tell him stories about you and Tonks at least once a week. And right now, every sentence out of him starts with "Daddy home soon..."

Remus' shining eyes at those words both made me feel content and annoyed the magic out of me. I knew this was why I was helping to settle the wolf. But suddenly I couldn't help but be jealous of a two year old child. Because soon, he would spend every day with the amazing man I had spent the past few days getting to know. And I would be delegated to once a month, as the wolf needed.

I had a few more days until that happened. But I knew I should be happy that Teddy had a father again. So when Remus used our linked hands to pull me onto the couch, I tried not to feel too relieved.

"Madame Pomfrey should be happy with what I can tell her," Bill was saying as Remus pulled me against him and tucked my face against his chest. "So we'll just see ourselves out. We'll see you in a few days."

A moment later, I heard two cracking sounds as they apparated away.

====

That was not the last day I had to bottle up what I was feeling. In fact, the last hours of Remus' cure were excruciating for me.

Moony started to fade away after the visit from Bill and Harry. Remus suddenly began asking me questions about what he missed in the past two years and read old copies of the Daily Prophet that had been in the cabin when I moved in.

Part of me was glad that I never threw them out, because they helped Remus get ready for his return to the world. But even though I sat at his feet as he read and I worked on my herbology curriculum, I could tell he needed me less. He only ordered me around when he was too busy reading to get up.

I was tempted to prostrate myself at his feet to get his attention, but I didn't want to think of how I'd react if he ignored me.

We still had sex periodically during those days. But it felt different. Moony wasn't in control, and Remus seemed distracted. Still, I didn't fail to please him. And he always made sure I received pleasure in return. But there weren't anymore 'lessons' or wickedly joyous discoveries.

He was pulling away from me. Even though our relationship couldn't really be considered one, I felt like I was losing him to the rest of the world.

But that transition was necessary. So when he told me it was time for him to walk to the castle to see Madame Pomfrey, I let him go.

I could only hope that the rest of the wizarding world would learn to love him as I did. 


	15. Chapter 15

A few days later, I started teaching my classes at Hogwarts. Because I couldn't deal with the pain Remus had left me with, I buried my head in my work and my plants as much as I could. My outward enthusiasm for my work was intended solely to try to forget the changing eyes and delightful feel of my former professor.

As I had promised, I sat down with Dennis Creevy for his interview, but I said very little. Then I studiously ignored both the Daily Prophet and the Quibbler, because I knew they were running stories on everybody's favorite werewolf war hero. How could they not, when he suddenly reappeared, ready to take on the world?

Harry and Molly invited me over for dinners and other occasions. But I politely refused. I knew Remus was staying at Grimmauld Place with Harry as he adjusted to taking care of a child on his own. Harry was also reintroducing Remus to the people who had accepted him well. The thought of Remus being home and welcome pleased me to no end. That made it harder to face him, however. Because I didn't want to see him turn to others for his wants and needs.

I felt...empty. Like I was missing a big part of me. I tried to ignore it for a time, but the emptiness made me restless. I didn't know how to fix that, other than running to Remus and begging him to let me sit at his feet forever. That wasn't an option, however. He didn't need me pleading with him while he was adjusting.

But I needed something to calm me. I was beginning to take out my discomfort on the children, especially the first years. They began to back away from me in fear. Minerva took to frowning at me. Even Hagrid eyed me suspiciously.

I began to realize that I needed to feel safety in the way that Remus and Moony had provided. I needed to be able to let go, scream, cry, or just hide from the world. Because I felt like I was going to shatter due to the pressures suddenly put upon me. For I had classes to teach, children to watch, plants to see to, faculty to please and a wizarding world that was one step from encroaching on me. Dennis Creevy had kept his promise and didn't describe Remus' illness. But he did say that Remus had been ill and that I had cared for him. Of course, this meant that other reporters sought me out for the details. Minerva said that she chased some reporters from the children in Hogsmeade, so I didn't go off Hogwarts grounds for fear of being accosted by them.

I didn't have anywhere safe to relax. Even my cabin made me tense, because it reminded me of what I was missing.

So I owled Bill Weasley and asked if he knew of any places where I could submit to someone outside of the wizarding world. Bill replied with a note questioning the wisdom of doing that so soon after my experience with Remus. But along with his worry was the name of a club on the Muggle street parallel to Knockturn Alley.

I decided to go as soon as I could. I was beginning to worry that I would lash out at a first year in a way that would put Severus Snape to shame. My restlessness was growing, and not even my favorite plants could calm me.

That Friday evening, I dug in the back of my closet and pulled out the Muggle clothes Hermione helped me buy. Jeans, casual shirts, boots, and a leather vest. These weren't the Muggle bargain clothes that I used for gardening. These were clothes I bought in case I needed to run to the Muggle world to escape the torment of my memories.

I had considered spending nights at bars and social events, where I could listen to the problems of people who didn't even know there had been a war in their area recently. But then I realized that in a drunken or tired state, I might want to share in return. I didn't want to risk my home that way, especially when we were all trying to recover. So I shoved the clothes where I couldn't see them.

But now the Muggle world might offer me more. They could give me the control for my restlessness. And if I specifically looked for a dominant who didn't allow me to speak, I wouldn't be risking anyone but myself.

So I put on the clothes and walked to Hogsmeade so I could apparate to the edge of Knockturn Alley and make my way into the Muggle world. 

====

I didn't venture out beyond the boundaries of wizarding areas very often. So I found Muggle London very noisy and fast paced. But I had been to Grimmauld Place often enough that I could ignore most of it as I made my way to the club.

The club, the Lion's Haven, was clean and hushed in contrast to the London streets outside. It also seemed a bit more civilised. A man a little older than me stood at the door, and when I approached him, took my entry fee. Then he asked about my preferences. When I requested a dominant who wouldn't allow me to speak, he looked me over with a surprised expression. But he didn't say anything as he wrote on his pad.

He then suggested that I get a drink at the bar while he talked to a few of the dominants currently in the club. So I found a corner and ordered a cider. It was very similar to its counterpart in the wizarding world. I took this as a good sign, and looked around at the people who were eyeing each other while trying to look like they weren't.

A few minutes after I received my drink, I was approached by a blond man taller than myself. After confirming my stated preferences, he proceeded to grab my arm and drag me to the back of the barroom.

Before I could get over my startle and protest that I also didn't want to be manhandled, he put my arms in a set of restraints and a mask that shoved a ball in my mouth. The mask obscured my vision, so I couldn't see where he dragged me to next. But I suddenly realized that I could no longer hear people talking. At that moment, I wished I had found some other way to deal with my restlessness. So I tried to pull away.

But the man moved too fast for me. I was forced to my knees and strapped into something that held me still seconds later. I tried to struggle when my jeans were yanked down. But my mind was going into a panic. This was not what I wanted. I wanted kindness in my dominant. Not these domineering actions. The wolf at his worst had more finesse than this. I tried to say this, but I couldn't while wearing the mask.

Then the situation changed. Before the dominant could do anything else, I heard a cracking sound in front of me and some yelling. 

"What are you doing to him?! Did he ask for this?" The voice practically roared in my ear. Then someone growled. And it was a very familiar growl. A second later, I heard a thud and a groan.

Another crack sounded, and I swore I heard Harry Potter yell "Stop!"

Then I was yanked out of the contraption the dominant had strapped me into, and the restraints and mask were pulled off me so roughly that I knew I would have bruises later.

After blinking to adjust to the bright light, I found I was facing eyes of pure amber. I couldn't look away. But I was unable to say a word to explain to Remus what was going on.

Instead, I started trembling.

I didn't even have time to stumble before I was wrapped protectively in strong arms and apparated out of the club.

Since side-along apparition tended to make me dizzy, I closed my eyes. When I opened them again, a two year old child with green hair was staring up at me and holding out his arms. "Unca Nev! Unca Nev! Up!"

"Not now, Teddy," a voice whispered from behind me. "Neville needs to rest." Then I was guided to sit on a sofa.

I looked around and realized I was in one of the sitting rooms in Grimmauld Place. This was the room with the least austere furnishings, so the sofa actually felt somewhat comfortable as I shifted to look up at my rescuer.

Remus stared back at me and sighed heavily. "I'm not going to ask you what you were doing in that place. That was obvious. But why didn't you come to me instead?"

Before I could answer him, Harry and Kingley Shacklebolt came rushing into the sitting room. "I talked to Bill," Harry said, panting. "He thought Neville would be safe there. But he didn't know they recently changed management until after he sent Neville the note. He checked on the place because a Muggle friend of his said something worrisome about it this afternoon."

As I just stared at them, trying to understand their words, Teddy climbed on the couch. The child hugged my side warmly as Kingsley turned to Remus. "I know Neville was in distress. I know that enraged your other side. But next time, come to me before you go charging into a place as if you were Merlin himself, without anyone to back you up! You're lucky we only had to obliviate three people. The rest of the patrons nearby thought the dominant was so rough that he broke one of the devices, and that's why there were loud sounds."

Remus let out a growl and I felt a hand grasp my shoulder tightly. "Neville was being mistreated. I needed to get him out of there as soon as possible!"

"You live with Harry Potter, Remus! All you had to do is yell down the hall to get some help!" Kingsley held up his hands as Remus came towards him angrily. "It worked out. Harry saw you leave, so he just traced your apparition and followed you. But you do realize that by apparating so quickly, you left Teddy in Kreacher's care?"

Remus calmed down a little as he stared at the child stuck to my side. Then he sighed again. "I'm still figuring out the rules of parenting."

"Molly and Arthur tell me you never stop trying to figure them out." Kingsley clapped Remus on the shoulder, then looked at me. "And it looks like parenting isn't the only thing you need to decipher."

"I know," Remus replied softly. "Thank you for cleaning up the mess. I'll try to be more careful next time. In fact, I'll try to prevent a next time."

Kingsley looked me over with a kind expression. "Neville, do you feel comfortable here?" When I nodded, he turned back to Remus and said, "Then there's nothing more I need to say. Keep him safe."

"I will." Remus shook Kingsley's hand. Then Kingsley left the sitting room, presumably to head back to the Ministry of Magic.

"I'll ask Kreacher to make everyone a snack." Harry came to my side to gather Teddy, who was now sleeping. "Or should I just put this one to bed?"

As if that were a cue, I let out a big yawn.

"They both need sleep," my werewolf caretaker whispered.

Remus shook his head at me as I started to protest. "You're exhausted, and so am I. We've both had too much excitement for one day. Bill sent us the note about where you were, and his concern for you, an hour ago. Moony then gave me two seconds to realize he was taking over. He was not going to wait for me to plan. He apparated to that awful place almost before I realized my wand was in my hand."

I ducked my head as I realized that Remus came charging to my rescue, much as I had tried to do the morning Dennis Creevy was in front of the cabin. But he just put a comforting hand on my shoulder as he talked to Harry. "If you don't mind, I'd like you to put Teddy to bed. I'll ask Kreacher to get Neville a snack to help him calm down. He can stay in my room tonight."

Harry looked from Remus to me and back again as he held Teddy's sleeping form against his shoulder. Apparently satisfied by what he saw, he nodded. "Call me if you need me. Oh, and I hope you like chocolate chip pancakes for breakfast, Neville. Teddy and Kreacher insist that everyone get enough chocolate in the morning."

I let out a soft laugh as Remus muttered about how the irascible house elf only listened to spoiled children.

Harry grinned at me before he left the room. 

====

Once Harry was gone, Remus summoned Kreacher to whisper softly to him. Then he took my hand to pull me off the sofa. "I told him to bring your food to my room."

I meekly let Remus guide me down the hall because his hand clutched at mine in the same way it did after Dennis Creevy disturbed us at the cabin.

He opened the door to a comfortable room decorated in greens and browns. My mind, unable to focus on what just happened, instead noted that Harry must have redecorated part of the house. But then Remus guided me to the bed, where he knelt at my feet.

"No, please..." I reached for him to coax him to stand. I couldn't grapple with the idea of him submitting to me, not now. It was just wrong.

"Hush, fy arwr. I'm just taking off your boots." After he slid them off, he looked up at me, his eyes changing between green, brown and hazel. "I didn't realize that I was neglecting you when I came here. I didn't dare to think that you would grow to need me as I need you. So I resigned myself to waiting until the full moon to seek you out again. But it's obvious that we should have discussed what you needed before I left the cabin. So after we have our fill of chocolate and pancakes, I'd like to do that."

He reached up to tangle his fingers in my hair, as he had done repeatedly while I had knelt at his feet. "I can sleep on the chair in the corner, or in Teddy's room, if you want some space tonight. I understand if you need some time to shake off the feel of that place."

I shook my head. "It'll be easier to chase away if I have something to hold onto."

Remus smiled as he pulled my head down for a gentle kiss. "Both of us were hoping you would say that." Then I watched as his eyes changed to amber and Moony kissed my forehead. A moment later, his eyes settled back to hazel and he looked towards the nightstand, where a tray of food now rested.

"Kreacher claims you like peanut butter toast." Remus wrinkled his nose, then stood.

"I do. Mum's American cousin convinced me it was good when I was eight."

"Then get comfortable so you can eat it. Just make sure you clean up the crumbs before you fall asleep." Remus grabbed one of the cups of tea after stripping to a pair of boxers. Then he climbed into the bed behind me.

Knowing he was letting me decide how much closeness I could handle, I stripped down to my own boxers and slid under the covers. Then I grabbed my toast and cautiously leaned against him.

Remus immediately put an arm around me. The emptiness I had been fighting for two weeks disappeared before my next heartbeat.


	16. Chapter 16

I woke in the morning to something squirming against me. It pulled me from a deep sleep and dreams of Remus and Moony claiming me in some very heated ways. Annoyed by the interruption, I tried to go back to sleep to recapture those dreams. But it was impossible. The thing against me wouldn't stay still.

"Shh!" the squirming thing said in a loud whisper. "Unca Nev sleep."

A moment later, I heard a chuckle. So I opened my eyes. Bright turquoise hair was next to my nose and a indulgent werewolf was staring at me. "But I think you just woke him up, Teddy." After looking me over, Remus smiled and reached out to caress my shoulder. "How are you?"

"Better, thank you." I bowed my head guiltily. Remus should have been taking care of the child between us last night instead of helping me escape someplace I probably shouldn't have gone to. I didn't know how to apologize for causing such trouble.

As I struggled with my thoughts, the werewolf shifted closer to whisper to his son. Then Teddy looked up at me with a grin, cracking through my self blame momentarily. He pointed to a corner as he patted my chest. "Vic, Unca Nev!"

I obligingly moved my gaze to where he was pointing. In the corner by the window was an enchanted Venus Fly Trap, apparently well cared for and in a place of prominence. I looked to Remus in confusion. 

The other man shrugged. "When Harry told Teddy you liked plants, they decided to go to Diagon Alley to buy you one. Teddy chose that. And for some unknown reason, he named it Victor."

I didn't know how or why I was important enough to the child leaning against me to buy me a present. But I didn't want to refuse his good will. For some reason, it brightened my day as much as Remus' smile did. So I nodded solemnly at the boy. "It looks like you've taken very good care of Victor. When I go back to Hogwarts, I'll make sure to gather flies to help keep him healthy."

Teddy squealed and hugged me. I hugged him back bemusedly, then looked back up at his father with a frown. "I like my present, and I'm honored. But I've only been around him a few times before this. I don't understand why..."

Remus sighed and tangled a hand into my hair gently. "He didn't have to see you to like you, Neville. You took care of me, and that matters a lot to both of us. Harry and Andromeda told stories of me while I was away. When I made it back to the Forest, they told him I was ill and that as soon as I was better, I'd be home. He knows that you helped me get better. To him, that's the best reason to like you."

His hazel eyes held mine for a moment before he leaned in for a kiss. It was gentle and calming, and made me want to snuggle against him as his son was resting against me. "He'll find out the other reasons later. But for now, I'm glad he likes you almost as much as I do."

But part of me wondered if I was worth their regard.

As he watched the confused expression on my face, Remus' eyes turned dark, and I heard a very soft rumble come from him. But before Moony could take over, the father softly suggested to his son, "Why don't you wake up Harry and ask Kreacher to make your pancakes?"

Apparently excited by the idea, Teddy jumped off the bed and ran out the door. As he did, Remus grabbed my arm and his gleaming eyes caught mine to hold me still. We stayed that way until we heard Teddy and Harry laughing together. But once he knew Teddy was in Harry's care, Remus waved his hand to shut the door to the bedroom and lock it.

A moment later, Moony was looming over me. "It is time for another lesson, fy arwr."

====

I stared up at him in shock. I had not expected Moony to want or need me outside the times in our bargain. Perhaps it also caught the other man by surprise. Because, as I watched, Remus' two sides seemed to argue. But the conflict didn't last long. He twitched twice and his eyes changed swiftly for a few moments, then settled on amber with a rim of green.  

"We have decided that you have not learned the lesson about our claim on you adequately," Moony growled softly as he shifted us so he was on his hands and knees, surrounding me. "It was not your fault that you were humiliated and nearly hurt by that poor excuse for a dominant. But you shouldn't have been there in the first place."

The eyes that held my attention slowly turned green as he frowned. "Have I not been good enough to you to have you trust me? Or do you not even trust Harry or Bill enough to talk to them before doing something so foolish as to seek a stranger to help you control your pain and emotions?" 

I looked up at him nervously. "But Harry and Bill were helping you. None of you should have been bothered by me. You needed to adjust..."

Remus ran his finger down my cheek as he sighed. "I should have known. Minerva told me that you have your scars mostly because you were afraid to bother Poppy after the Carrows were finished with you. She never saw you after your detentions. But you need as much care as we do, and not only when it benefits one of us. Where did you get the idea that you were a nuisance to everyone, even to your friends?"

My mind stuttered and stammered as much as my mouth did in the next moments, until I stumbled on a painful memory that I had hid from everyone. "My great uncle. He was nice to me when Gran was around. But when he would watch over me alone, he would spend most of his time telling me how awful I was compared to Dad."

Moony growled threatening, but we both knew my great uncle was gone. He couldn't fight a ghost.

So he went to war with the memory. "Even in that, you have allies," Remus said softly after kissing my forehead. "Harry knows what that is like. The Dursleys were horrendous. And there were many people in the Ministry who told me I was less than human." He showed me the tattoo of a number on the inside of his left wrist. His registry number. "But Harry and I have fought to get past those who made less of us, and we can help you. We will listen and help you fight the beliefs, as we have tried to help you fight the war memories."

Remus sighed again. "I've been prone to those bouts of self-doubt, Neville. But I had a wife, a husband, and my husband's godchild to convince me that my mother was right. We are all worth being loved and cared for. Let me help you. I want to give you comfort. Because you are worth it, and for Merlin's sake, you did the same for me two weeks ago."

Then he held my head still for a moment so I looked directly at him. "And if he was capable, Frank would be extremely proud of you. He told me after you were born that he would not stop fighting because his child and all children should be safe from such evil. He would be glad to know that his son believed the same thing, and acted on that conviction."

A moment later, Moony returned in his eyes and pulled me off the bed. "Kneel. I know of only one way to make sure you understand your own importance."

I knelt in front of him with my head down, suddenly trembling. Something in me knew that this moment was about to change us.

But the being above me would not let me hide in ignorance. "Look up at me, fy arwr, my hero."

My eyes snapped upwards. I had ignored his name for me earlier, not sure if I had wanted to know its meaning. But now I felt out of breath and nonplussed. "Your hero?" I whispered, not believing that I could be a hero to anybody.

"Yes, my hero. For without you, we would still be fractured and lost." Moony laid a hand on the back of my neck so he could tilt my head up. "You also need something to keep you from being fractured and lost. If I give you a reminder of my claim on you, will you remember to come to me when you are in need?"

"If you wish it, Sir," I murmured softly.

Moony nodded approvingly, then asked, "Do you wish for others to know you are mine?" 

I shivered as I nodded. That thought filled me with a warmth and a sharp, sudden arousal.

Those entrancing eyes settled back to hazel as he growled softly. "This past day has reminded me that I need to be more firm with my claim on you. For I will not have you hurt. I will give you what you need, or I will help you find someone who can do so safely. Because I want and need you, even when the moon's call is weak."

Remus shifted to kneel in front of me, but I still kept a submissive position, bending and lowering my eyes. He ran his hand possessively over my back. "If I do this, the wolf will know you belong to us no matter what our form. So you must agree to it, or say no now."

I raised my head. "I want to be yours, Remus Lupin." 

At my words, Remus bent his head and bit the skin at the base of my neck.

Shock and arousal froze me for a moment as I felt the pain, the pleasure, then the magic that would make the mark permanent course through me. Once the teeth were gone from my neck, I scrambled to get closer to the one who claimed me.

"I have you, Neville," my dominant whispered as he ran a hand over me soothingly. "Get on the bed, and I will give you what you need."

My mind narrowed to obedience and feelings as I did as he asked. Because with him, I knew I didn't have to worry. In a few moments, I was completely naked, I had restraints on my limbs, and Remus was surrounding me and pushing into me.

Moony's growls mixed with Remus' groans, making me want to push back, to give to them. But the restraints stopped me, so I let them take and take, until Moony growled, "Let go, fy arwr. Give me your control."

So I let go of the tight rein on my emotions. The rein that I had only given up twice before, both times with this being. But now, I gave it to him joyously. In return, he gave me such ecstasy that it blinded me and shook me to my core.

Once we both calmed, I felt Remus remove the restraints and heard him clean us with a few whispered spells. But I didn't open my eyes, wanting to stay for a few more moments in the place where he was all I knew.

He let me, and even encouraged it with a few gentle caresses and a soft kiss to the claim mark on my neck. He let me sleep for a time, then gently woke me with a whispered, "Neville, are you hungry?"

"Hmm?" I turned into his warm body and snuggled closer.

I felt a kiss on the top of my head. "Teddy and Harry must have realized we wouldn't be making it to breakfast. Look on the nightstand."

Reluctantly, I turned a little so I could see the nightstand. And I let out a laugh.

Because there sat two cups of tea nestled next to two steaming plates of chocolate chip pancakes.


	17. Chapter 17

I spent the next day or so as part of the group Remus called family. Harry and Teddy were at its core, but before the weekend was out, I also had been checked on by Bill, Ron, and Fred Weasley, hugged by Ginny and Molly, and Andromeda Tonks, questioned by Kingsley Shaklebolt and examined by Poppy Pomfrey.

Many of them told me that they were glad that I was returning to them, much as Remus was. This confused me a great deal, as I hadn't gone anywhere. When I heard the Head Auror say something similar, I turned to Harry and Remus in shock. Shaking his head at me, Harry said, "A lot of us knew you were having problems after you left Hogwarts, and especially during Auror training. But you wouldn't say anything. You wouldn't let any of us try to help you. Your interest in helping Remus was great for all of us. Because we knew then we had a chance of getting *both of you* back."

Shock didn't begin to describe the feeling I had as I stared at Harry. But he didn't try to negate anything he said. He just crossed his arms and stared back. "Tell me I'm wrong. Tell me you weren't avoiding all of us. Tell me you didn't spend most of our birthday party talking to Arthur about cars, which you know very little about, so you wouldn't have to face the rest of us."

I thought for a moment, then admitted, "I can't."

At that, Remus came over to the chair I was sitting on and pulled me close. "It would please me if you accepted their help, or at least their support, when they give it to you," he growled softly in my ear.

I looked up at the being who had chosen to claim me and saw the worry on his face. I wanted to wipe that look away as quickly as possible, so I turned back to Harry and Kingsley. "I'm sorry. I've been a bit overwhelmed. I'd like it if I could take you both out to lunch soon, so we can catch up."

I was surprised when Harry smiled as if I told him he could marry Ginny tomorrow. I was even more surprised when Kingsley nodded to Remus approvingly.

====

Because I had classes to teach, I prepared to return to the cabin Sunday night. Teddy had followed me around the entire weekend, as if I was the most amazing person he had ever met. So, to hold Teddy over until I came again, I gave him a set of seeds that I had in a pocket of my vest. They would be easy for the child to handle, and would quickly grow into some tiny flowers.

Remus stared at the child with his packet of seeds, then at me. His stare became uncomfortable and frightening, because his eyes turned dull in a way I hadn't seen before. After a few minutes, even Teddy looked frightened. Finally, his father's shoulders slumped. "Dora would have loved those."

After his proclamation, the older man started pacing around the room. He shifted in apparent agitation, never staying still. His eyes shifted to me, suspiciously, guiltily. And somehow, I knew he was pulling away from me again. As if his claim on me in his bedroom had meant nothing.

"I can't do this," Remus muttered after a time. "I can't trap you with me while I'm still trying to figure myself out. You deserve better than that. You deserve more than me. Dora may be gone two years, but I still love her. I'm not ready to give up the memory of that love yet. I can't give you all of me, even though you should be entitled to everything I am."

"But..." I suddenly couldn't breathe. I knew he had brought me here with the intention of giving me what I had hoped for---the right to be with him much more often. But he was taking it away again. I could only stare at him in shock.

Remus didn't seem to notice as he stared out a window into the street. He seemed to be trying not to look at me. "I'll help you until you can find someone better. I don't want your nightmares getting the best of you. But I can't do any more. It wouldn't be fair to you. I can't give you my full attention. I have too many issues of my own. I also have Teddy. I don't want to choose between you, but he has to come first."

What was happening before me was obvious. Remus was scared of what came next in our relationship and was making excuses so he wouldn't have to risk everything when he messed up. I had done it so many times that it was easy to spot in him. But being on the receiving end of it was terrifying. So I moved next to him and asked the only thing I could think of that might stop his retreat. "But what about the full moon? My presence was requested for the day before and the day after." The moon was in two days time. Tomorrow, Moony might make Remus regret his decision here and drag him back to the Forest to be feral again. I hoped that the idea would make him reconsider. 

But it didn't even make him pause. "I'll be fine. You shouldn't be around me anyway. I can't take Wolfsbane yet. The wolf hasn't completely let go."

Given the time I spent calming the wolf, that should have been the reason to keep me around. But the fear of what came with me was apparently too great for him.

I met his eyes for a moment. They were a steady hazel. He was balanced. I didn't have an excuse to insist I stay with him. 

So I just said, "My floo will be open if you need me." Then with a heavy heart, I headed back to the cabin.

====

I taught my classes the next day, and they cheered me up slightly. Watching the younger children discover the joys of magical plants buoyed me for a few hours. But as the full moon approached, something in me became more agitated. I rubbed almost constantly at the mark on my neck that Remus gave me. It had started to itch and burn.

I remembered Harry telling me that his scar burned when Voldemort was near. So I momentarily wondered if Remus was near. But he had made it clear that he couldn't handle having me around. So I berated myself for wishful thinking and did my best to cover up the mark with a high collared shirt.

By Tuesday afternoon, however, I was as agitated as I had been Friday before I left for the club. The anger in me was beginning to rise, over mostly inconsequential things. So as soon as my last class ended, I made my way to the cabin to get away from the children.  I didn't want to rekindle the idea that I was the next Severus Snape.

So I puttered around the cabin as the sun set. But my eyes were drawn to my monitoring orb on the table by the window of the front room. It was useless now, as I knew Remus would lock himself in the cage that Sirius Black had put in the basement of Grimmauld Place for his use. But I couldn't help but wish it would blink.

Although I tried to mentally lock myself in the cabin, my restlessness just grew. I couldn't concentrate on anything. I began to pace almost uncontrollably. And to make matters worse, the mark on my neck started to ache, making it difficult to think about anything but the being who had put it there.

As I looked outside into the moonlight, I realized trapping myself in the cabin was making me worse. So I decided that I would go into the Forest and figure out once and for all what was ailing the Devil's Snare.

I gathered my homemade potions and a few supplies I had asked Hagrid to get from Ponoma Sprout. I needed to test the soil, check the roots of the plant (which Remus had interrupted, and I had not gotten back to), and check that the shading was adequate, as it was a nocturnal vine. 

As it was a rather warm night, I skipped the heavy robes, and put on some bargain muggle clothes, a pair of shorts and a rather ripped up t-shirt. I decided I'd finally throw out the shirt after this, as I expected it to get caught on a couple of the tendrils of the plant before I was finished.

I headed into the forest, ignoring the moonlight at my back. It was best to not think of the pain Remus was going through at that moment. So I stared into the darkness of the Forest and didn't waver in my gaze or gait until I reached the Devil's Snare. 

It appeared that the Forest was mocking me. Because I heard something howl as I lit my wand and crawled under the plant. But I gritted my teeth and reminded myself that Remus had made his choice. So I pulled out Ponoma's testing boxes and went to work.

Soon, I understood why my potions hadn't worked. There was something wrong with the magic surrounding the plant. It was altered somehow, and it was making the poor thing sick. The magic elements were dark, and had spread into the soil, infecting the roots. 

I couldn't give the vine a happiness potion to counteract the magic, as most happiness potions mimic sunny days. So I thought happy night thoughts at it while I dug into the soil and spread a calming potion liberally.

It was then that I heard the growl.

The very familiar growl. The one I had heard repeatedly during six days of healing.

All of a sudden, my thoughts weren't so happy. Because if my mind hadn't taken a turn into imaginings, and Moony was really behind me, I was in grave danger. Remus hadn't taken Wolfsbane. He couldn't. He had told me so on Sunday.

But that growl was close enough that I knew I didn't have enough time to run before the wolf would be at my neck.

Still, I had to try. I couldn't make Remus' persistent guilt worse by not attempting to get away. So I moved out from under the Snare slowly, hoping to buy myself some time.  

I leaned towards the left, in the direction of the cabin, to give myself as much head start as I could and perhaps keep the Snare from being torn apart if Moony did attack me right away.

Then I stood up. I knew that I should have just ran for the cabin. But I couldn't help it. I had to gaze on him one more time, even if it meant my death. So I turned towards the area I heard the growl come from.

There he was, a few feet in front of me in all his lupine glory, framed by the dark trees. Moony stared at me, in apparent agitation. His chest was heaving as if he had exhausted himself getting to me. His grey hair stood up all over his back, like a kitten that had had a fright.

I had just enough time to register that the wolf was as gorgeous as the man. The creature was huge, but was well formed. A wild animal, but not a hideous beast. I had a moment of longing to touch his silky pelt and bury my hands against the strong muscles.

Then he charged at me.


	18. Chapter 18

As I felt the whoosh of air hit me ahead of the wolf charging at me, I closed my eyes and waited for the inevitable pain and death.

But it never came. In fact, the wolf didn't even touch me.

Instead I heard something that sounded like the scrabbling of claws on the Snare's roots next to me. So I opened my eyes and looked around cautiously. Moony was next to me, staring at something behind us. So I turned to see what it was. But as I shifted, I tripped over a Snare root tendril and fell on my stomach under Moony's snout.

The second I landed, I again braced myself, expecting to have my neck torn out. Because I was sure the wolf would take advantage of my vulnerable position to fulfill the blood-lust of the curse.

But instead of killing me, Moony snuffled his snout against the back of my neck, then shifted so my torso was laying between his two front paws. He seemed to be boxing me in for some reason. That made me hopeful. Perhaps the wolf wanted to turn me instead of kill me. I wanted to live, and knew that I could find a way to deal with the curse. So I laid very still, to make sure I didn't anger him into violence.

As I stilled, so did the rest of the forest. So it was easy to hear rhythmic sound coming towards us. But with Moony's jaw right above me, I didn't dare raise my head to see what it was.

Moony's lower jaw moved to rest on top of my head. Then the rest of his body finished boxing me in. Even his tail rested on the back of my leg.

The rhythm turned into a clopping sound as it came closer. When it sounded like it was a meter or two away from us, Moony started growling threateningly.

But it was obvious that he wasn't growling at me. So I took a chance. I raised my head. In front of us was the frowning face of the centaur who had antagonized Moony earlier.

The centaur reached his hand out to me as soon as I looked up. "You seem to be in trouble. Let me help you. I can take you somewhere safe, where the wolf cannot get to you," he said softly.

Somehow, that didn't sound like something I wanted to do, even though part of me knew that anyone else would have gladly accepted. I just wanted to protect the wolf from this being he saw as a threat. Although I had no hope of stopping the wolf if he actually charged at the centaur, I wrapped an arm around Moony's right front leg to remind him I was there, underneath him. I hoped that would be enough to stop him from fighting.

Then I remembered Remus' comments about this being. Apparently he and Moony believed the centaur wanted me. They implied it was a sexual want. I found that hard to believe. But even I could see that the centaur wanted *something* from me. He tried approaching us from the side, still holding out his hand. "Please come. He will hurt you if you stay there much longer. Let me protect you and send him away."

Moony shifted towards the centaur threateningly, but didn't move the leg I was holding. The wolf, the fierce human-destroying beast, knew exactly what he was doing. I gasped as the meaning of the wolf's actions sunk into my stubborn brain. He was protecting me! He hadn't been charging at me when I first saw him, he had been trying to stop the centaur from getting to me!

I knew on the cabin's side of the Forest, the ground was softer. So I might not have heard anything approach as I inspected the Snare. But the wolf would have smelled a threat.

Moony's careful consideration for my arm convinced me of his intentions, but I wanted information from the centaur. If he was after me, I wanted to know why. And I had found during the war that appearing ignorant was a good way to get information. "Did you try to come to me earlier?" I asked, trying to sound as innocent as possible.

"Yes, of course. I didn't want the werewolf to hurt you." The centaur stood up proudly. Oddly, he reminded me of Dennis Creevy when he had believed he was making sure Remus wouldn't hurt me, after *I* made sure Remus wouldn't attack him.

A moment later, the centaur dug a hoof into the ground near my leg. This seemed to agitate Moony even more. He seemed almost ready to lift the leg I was holding so he could charge towards the centaur. But before he could, I slammed my hand on his paw hard enough that he yelped.

But that's all he did. He didn't even growl at me afterwards. In fact, I felt his legs shift slightly closer to my sides, as if he was reminding himself *why* he wanted to charge at the centaur.

Tears came to my eyes as I remembered Remus' words the morning he had put the mark on my neck. He had said that the mark would allow him to know me in either form. Here was my proof.

I reached my free hand up to rub gently at the underside of the wolf's jaw. That was probably the most dangerous place I could touch on the creature. But I was no longer afraid. In fact, his actions so moved me that I dared to whisper the secret inside me, to the side of him that wouldn't understand it. "I love you," I murmured against his neck.

It must have been coincidence that the wolf snuffled his snout softly through my hair a moment later.

But then the centaur nearly stomped on the hand I had on Moony's paw, reminding me that we weren't alone. I looked up to see the centaur glaring at me and reaching to push at the wolf. "Come with me. You do not have to submit to such a beast!" he nearly yelled.

Now he was beginning to threaten me and the one I held dear. So before Moony could attack, I charged at the centaur. Somehow, the magic and adrenaline in me allowed me to smoothly get out from under Moony, turn, and give the centaur enough of a shove to startle him into moving backwards.

"Don't you dare!" I snapped. "You've tormented him since I moved into the cabin, haven't you?! Can't you leave him alone? He's not bothering anything! What did he do to you?!"

"He took you!" The centaur tried to grab me but I shoved him back again. I could hear Moony growl, but I didn't look at him. The wolf was safe as long as the centaur preoccupied with me.

But suddenly my anger was starting to boil over. Here was another being who didn't know how to treat submissives. So I gave him his first lesson. I growled, in a voice somehow mimicking Remus', "He's my dominant, but *I* say he is that. *I* made that choice. And you will not be the one to make me change my mind. Leave us alone!"

Apparently, my statement enraged the centaur, because his hand came up to grab at my throat. Recognizing the move from my experiences in the war, I quickly ducked and slipped away. A moment later I was behind Moony, who used his large form to shield me.

A movement behind the centaur caught my eye. Another centaur approached, but this one was more welcome to me. When the younger centaur started after me, Firenze reached out to grab his tail. "Stop, Gennau. The young professor has made his choice." He pointed to my neck, where Remus' mark was now visible because my shirt hadn't held up to the Forest floor. Then Firenze turned back to the younger centaur. "And your brother is in need of you."

I sighed with relief as Gennau glared at Firenze, but then galloped away from us.

Once he was gone, Firenze looked me over. Then he nodded respectfully. "I am glad your strength has returned, Neville Longbottom. And that you have aided his." He nodded towards Moony. "I will make sure you are not disturbed further tonight as long as you stay near your vine."

"Thank you," I said softly after a sigh of relief. Then Firenze headed in the direction that his lieutenant went.

Suddenly exhausted, I took off the t-shirt that now was split down the front, and used it to make myself a seat on the Forest floor. Once I was comfortable, Moony came over and laid beside me. I was surprised to find a large jaw setting across my lap as he settled.

But that gave me an excuse to touch him in return. So I petted the soft fur on the top of his head and checked his body for any injuries the centaur may have given him before I saw either of them. I checked his tail first, then moved a hand over his back and flank. Lastly, I checked his long snout.

A moment later, I let out a sharp gasp.

Because the eyes staring up at me curiously were green.


	19. Chapter 19

Leaning against the tree next to which he had made his home earlier, I watched Remus stare up at me from the wolf's eyes quietly. He didn't move for quite awhile. So I kissed the top of his head, trying to give him some of the calm that was settling over me. "We need to talk tomorrow," I said softly, making the wolf's ears twitch. "Don't try to push me away again. Or I'll get Harry and Bill to help me strap you to a chair so you listen."

Of course, I had no idea how much Remus could comprehend while inhabiting the wolf. But as I wondered, I watched the creature shift his head downward and close his eyes for a moment. The expression on the lupine visage looked enough like 'I'm sorry' that I felt justified in running a soothing hand over his back.

As I watched, the eyes in that visage turned slowly back to amber. But my hand didn't falter, because the wolf's presence was very welcome. Right now, I trusted the beast more than I trusted the man. And I believed Moony knew, or at least suspected that fact. Because he raised his snout to nuzzle at my chest, then bump it against my chin gently.

I chuckled as I felt more appreciated at the moment than I had for many days. "Just be careful with your teeth," I said softly as I shifted to kiss the top of his head again. As I did, I realized that I was becoming rather stoic about the possibility of becoming a werewolf. If it happened, it happened. At least I would have someone to help me adjust. But I knew it would scare Remus. And if I was ever going to get through to the man about what he needed and what I needed, well, the first thing that was required was to calm Remus down.

Moony was gentle as we sat there exchanging small caresses and nuzzles for a time. It was odd, in a way. I had no sexual attraction to the wolf's physical form. But it wouldn't have surprised me if Sirius had, while he was in canine form. Because the wolf reflected the fierce but contained personality of his human manifestation. He was so very gentle with me. So very affectionate.

But the moment a snake got within six inches of me, the wolf very coolly crushed it with his paw, to keep me from being hurt.

The amber eyes started to glow as he brushed the dead snake away and nuzzled my leg. I suspected he was making sure that it hadn't touched me without our notice, and that no other harmful things could get to me. Because a moment later, he nudged me, urging me to lie on a soft piece of ground, so he could curl around me.

I positioned myself so I could watch his amber depths. Because they did attract me. They had given me safety, solace, and someone I could be me around. For a moment, I pondered the possibility that I might be in love with the wolf, but not Remus. But as I stared at those amber eyes, I found myself looking for another hint of green in them. I wanted Remus too, for many of the same reasons I wanted Moony. They were the same person, after all. 

But I was very frustrated by the man at this point. He wanted me, but was too scared to handle it. I was beginning to see how he could be called a dominant, yet be bowled over by both of his former spouses. Because he wasn't that different than me. We both feared rejection, so much so that we were willing to do just about anything to please our loved ones. I just was the one who preferred to sink into a lover's arms and guidance, where Remus preferred to be the one guiding and comforting.

I sighed, which brought another gentle nuzzle from Moony. So I stroked his snout gently. I wished I could take advantage of how much the two beings had separated and ask Moony what the hell I should do with his other side. But I couldn't, at least until morning. So I turned towards Moony to bury my face in the fur on his neck and block out the world for a time.

I eventually fell into a troubled sleep.

====

I woke to the sound of moaning. It was an anguished sound, one that tore at my muddled mind. Remus, I thought as I pried my eyes open. He must be transforming back to human.

I reached around me as I tried to focus in the gloom that protected the Devil's Snare from the sunlight. But I could feel neither fur nor flesh. So I sat up and looked around.

I found Remus on my other side, kneeling and bending over my legs without touching them. I was alarmed to see that his body was trembling violently. Too violently to be post-transformation adjustments. But I couldn't tell if he was injured in the position he was in.

Shifting quickly, I knelt next to the werewolf, and grabbed his shoulders to straighten him. But his body resisted, and I could feel something magical in that resistance. Looking around us, I scanned the area, trying to see if the centaur tormentor had come back. But we were the only beings in our vicinity that were visible. 

A moment later, Remus started to convulse, and the magic surrounding him threw him to the ground beside me.

"Remus!" Now scared for his life, I reached under the Snare to grab my wand from where I left it with my flora supplies. I tried to think of a spell to cast to alleviate his pain when I looked at his face and realized his eyes were practically whipping between amber and green.

I stared in shock for a moment, then asked cautiously, "Remus, what's happening to you?"

"Punishment," the other man gasped out as he tried to rise from the Forest floor. "Because I pushed you away, against the wolf's wishes."

Moony was not kind in his discipline. The wolf caused Remus to shudder in pain, making him collapse back to the ground again.

Merlin, I thought I knew all of what Moony was capable of as a feral being when I took care of him in the cabin. But he surprised me yet again. The anger the beast felt seemed to be tearing through the man. I could see bruises appear on his back, from magical blows that I couldn't see or stop. I didn't know if he was capable of killing Remus like this, but I knew that I didn't want to find out.

So I whispered in Remus' ear, "Moony. Please stop. I'm here. I will serve you. Whatever you need, I will provide. He doesn't deserve this much pain." Then I wrapped my arms around the man, trying to warm his too-cool skin.

Remus stopped convulsing with a sigh, and went limp in my arms. A moment later, he straightened and turned so I could see his now completely amber eyes. "Fy arwr, you forgive too easily."

"I haven't forgiven him, Sir," I replied with a bow of my head. "But he can't pay penance to me if you incapacitate him." It was true. I was still angry at Remus for what he did, still upset at his contradiction in rules. Although he demanded that I come to him when I needed something he could provide, he seemed incapable of doing the same with me.

Moony kissed my hair gently and wrapped his now stronger arms around me. "I was doing it for you. You did not deserve to be rejected like that. I gave him time to change his mind. But making us spend the day before the moon without you was unacceptable. I need to make sure he doesn't do that again."

The frown on his face as he reached to trace the mark on my neck frightened me for a moment. But when he kissed the mark gently, I wondered if the nuzzle I received after I told him that I loved him last night was indeed coincidence.

That moment wasn't the time to ask. I knew if this man was going to love me, both sides of him needed to speak in unison. Right then, they weren't capable of that. But maybe I could help resolve their conflict.

"Would you allow me to punish Remus, Sir?" I asked softly. I knew the wolf would demand some type of real punishment, I wouldn't be able to cheat. But I would be able to stay in control of the situation, and make sure that Remus didn't get seriously hurt.

Moony nodded. "You are a switch, and have a strong, logical mind. So you are certainly capable of meting out punishment. But he must suffer for his transgression. Do not spare him, or he will never learn that our relationship with you is worth the struggle and fear he feels."

I rubbed at his arm, trying to calm him, as I could hear a growl rising in his voice. "I will make sure he does. But you both must rest first. Let me take you to the cabin and care for you for a few hours before my classes. When I return in the late afternoon, I will make sure that Remus doesn't repeat his mistake." 

Moony accepted with a smile. "You are devious in your own way, fy arwr. I will be curious to see what you devise."

I was curious too, as I had never punished anyone before. But there were some people in the school, and outside of it, who I trusted enough to ask about such things. And since I was a new professor, nobody would be suspicious if I asked for advice. They would just believe that I needed to discipline a student. 

But first, I had to make sure that the stubborn man I loved had what he needed. So I helped him up, and summoning a robe from the cabin, I put it on him and guided him home.

I checked with Poppy as soon as I settled him on the sofa. She told me that sleep was the most important thing after checking him for injuries. That made my task easy. I knew he was free from claw marks this month because Moony had chosen to punish Remus when he could see me with human eyes.

So I let him sleep for an hour while I prepared my lessons, then I bathed and fed him before tucking him into my bed so I could go to class.

I hoped that when I came back, the punishment I would give him would help us forge the relationship we needed. 


	20. Chapter 20

Up to this point, punishment was something I only had been on the receiving side of. To mete it out properly, I needed to know the proper way to do it. So after my first class, I went to the one person who I knew understood the intricacies of discipline: Minerva McGonagall.

I practiced a few spells I knew I would need for my task between my classes, then with a bit of time left, I joined Minerva for tea in the faculty room.

"When you are correcting a person's actions," the headmistress said, mysteriously avoiding the word 'student', "you must make sure they understood exactly what they did wrong. You must also show or tell them what their correct action should be. Don't assume they know what is expected of them. Many people do not, or do not understand what *you* expect from them, because others had taught them differently."

The headmistress smiled at me over her teacup. "I'm sure Harry told you I punished him once for wandering the castle after hours. In fact, it may be the instance you protested against. That night, Draco Malfoy told me that he saw Harry in the halls. That meant that I had to discipline Draco for breaking the same rule. He didn't understand that it was not acceptable to break a rule to catch someone else at it."

I nodded. "I remember that. Harry told me that Malfoy was rather shocked by what you did."

Minerva patted my hand. "Draco thought he was an exception to the rule, because his parent encouraged him to think that way. You have a similar challenge. Remus thinks he is allowed to push people away before he is pushed away because of his condition. Each time he loses somebody, he has to be taught otherwise because his fears of rejection overwhelm him. Hopefully, you can find a way to stop that awful habit. It's not good for him."

I looked at the head of the school in shock before a laugh bubbled out of me. I should have realized that I was still awful at hiding my intentions, at least to someone like the headmistress. "I'll do my best, but I don't think I can just wear him down like Tonks did."

"You could if you had to. You're a very persistent person. But I do understand why you don't want to. It's frustrating and it would wear on you. So perhaps you should show him what he would miss if he pushes you away again."

I pondered this for a moment. "I might just be able to do that, if I ask others for help."

Minerva patted my hand again. "That's something you do well. Take notes on what Remus does when you show him what life without him might be like. Whatever you learn will be useful when you actually must discipline students. Lovers aren't that different from children, after all."

I couldn't hide my blush as I left the faculty room to go to my next class.

====

On my way to the Greenhouses, I stopped by the owlery to send notes to Harry and Bill Weasley. Then I went to work teaching third year Hufflepuffs and Slytherins.

Although I had found the first few weeks of school an easy way to distract me from Remus' rejection, now that I had a way to fix it, I had trouble paying attention to my work. Using every ounce of determination I had, I made it through the lesson without mishap. But I didn't linger in the greenhouse as I usually did. Once the last student left, I made my way home quickly. 

Luckily, the notes I sent earlier both received positive replies. Fleur Weasley was waiting out front with her daughter Victoire in her arms. Harry and Teddy were nearby playing tag. 

"Thank you for coming," I said in a rush as I trotted over to them. "Has Remus seen you?"

Harry shook his head as Teddy came over to me and held up his arms. I picked him up and hugged him close almost before I realized what I had done. When I stared at Teddy bemusedly, Fleur smiled. "You have already become part of Remus' family. How could he not see that?"

"Fear can cloud your vision," I murmured into Teddy's hair, which today was dark brown to match my current teaching robes. "I know that from experience."

"You will have the whole night to make him see. I promised Teddy a sleepover at Fleur's place after they spend some time with you. He thinks Victoire is a great toy." Harry grinned. "That way neither you or Remus have to worry about what to do with him. You need to concentrate on fixing this situation."

"Thanks. I wasn't sure if it was fair to pull Teddy into this..." I stared at the child in my arms again worriedly. He smiled back at me with all the trust of the innocent.

Then he patted my cheek and burrowed against me. "Soft, Unca Nev," he murmured into my velvet-like robe.

"Teddy doesn't care. He trusts you to take care of his father," Harry crossed his arms, as if he were refusing to take the child back. "That's what you're doing. And he gets to spend some time with you while you're doing it. For Teddy, this is a wonderful thing."

I took a deep breath and gathered my courage. Then I addressed Remus' son. "Teddy, stay out here with Madame Fleur for a few minutes. Then we'll make dinner with some of the plants I grew. You can help make the salad."

Teddy clapped enthusiastically as I put him down next to Fleur. Harry nodded as he watched me square my shoulders. "I'll stay long enough to make sure you don't need help securing Remus. But then I have to head to the Burrow."

Worriedly, I looked between the two other adults. "Thanks. Just stay out here unless I call you? I want to prove a point, not humiliate him."

"Of course. This is your family, and he needs to learn from you, not me." Harry sat down next to Teddy in the grass. "I'm here to support you, but you're in charge."

Fleur nodded in agreement. "We are here to help. You are not my submissive, so I will not treat you as such until you need me to do so."

I couldn't stall anymore, so before I lost my nerve, I exclaimed, "Thank you. Your support means a lot. I'll go set up now so we can get started. Hopefully this will work."

A moment later, I headed into the cabin to prepare Remus for his punishment. 

====

The werewolf was still sleeping heavily when I went in. So I pulled out my wand and moved him to a chair slowly and carefully enough to not wake him. Using a few spells I learned in Auror training, I bound him to the chair and moved it to the front room, settling it in a position where he could see the dining room.

I knew he would need consequences in order to be patient once his punishment started, as I had needed restraints during my punishment. So I magically adhered a note to the wall in front of Remus that said, 'If you speak, we will leave.' But I did not wake him yet.

While he was still sleeping, I guided Fleur, Victoire and Teddy into the cabin through the back door. As we settled the children in the dining room, Fleur shifted to see if Remus was watching us. I, however, was determined to not look at him until I could tell that he learned his lesson.

I didn't know how to convince Teddy to do the same until Fleur whispered in his ear that we were playing a game. "Let's not talk to Daddy until it's time to eat. He wants to watch us before he comes in."

Teddy nodded and turned his hair green, like the color of the plants I had gathered to make our salad. I guessed this meant that Harry was right about how much Remus' son trusted me.

So I used my wand to tickle Remus' leg, then nodded to Fleur as I sat next to Teddy at the dining room table.

Then our 'game' began.

I expected Remus to hold his tongue when he woke, because the note was positioned to be the first thing he would see. But I was surprised to find that I didn't need to hear his voice to gauge his mood. I could hear it in a drawn breath, the shuffle of his feet, and a barely detectable moan.

But I wouldn't let his distress at seeing Fleur play with my hair distract me. I did my best to smile up at her convincingly before I turned to Teddy and showed him how to shred the greens in front of us and put them into a mixing bowl.

Teddy laughed as I helped him jump with the bowl in his hands to mix the greens with some dressing. Then we moved on to decorating the cookies we were going to have for dessert. Even Victoire helped with this, having fun while getting chocolate all over herself.

I could hear Remus shift in his chair as he watched me care for his child, and Fleur appeared to care for me. As I organized dinner and played with the children, she made sure to touch me, whisper in my ear, and tell me how good I was doing with the children. I was glad I chose her for this demonstration, as she was a very supportive dominant.

But when Remus' first sob reached my ears, I knew that I needed her support and guidance. Turning to her so Remus couldn't see, I mouthed 'Now?" She peeked through the dining room doorway and whispered back, "Not yet. Hold on a little longer."

So I distracted myself by making the pasta, with Teddy helping me stir the noodles. Then the boy snuggled against me as we waited for the pot to heat.

A little while later, I sat Teddy in a chair to get ready to eat, and kissed the top of his head gently. When Fleur kissed the top of my head in a mirror of my action, Remus let out a muted wail.

I immediately looked to Fleur, who nodded this time. "That is the sound of realization. Go to him. I'll finish getting dinner ready."

Not wasting any time, I ran out of the dining room. When I stopped by Remus' chair, he looked up at me, sorrow shining in his hazel eyes. "Please. Please let me try again," he whispered brokenly. "I don't like watching someone else caring for you the way I should."

Finally, he had come to the same conclusion that I had. That we belonged together. So I released him from the bind and fell to my knees in front of him.

Remus let out another sob and gathered me against him. Tears pricked my own eyes as he murmured, "I didn't expect to fall in love again so quickly. But I do love you. Moony and I agree on that most emphatically. I am sorry my fear of it hurt you."

I pulled his head down for a kiss. "It's fine to be scared. I've been scared quite often. But pushing away those who are trying to help you could cause you to lose them."

Remus' eyes turned amber for a moment, then he slid off the chair so that he could kneel next to me and bow his head. "Thank you for teaching me this, fy arwr. I have a lot to learn about caring for you."

As he submitted to my care, I heard the echo of what I had said to the wolf during our first week together. So I gave Remus the wolf's words in return. "So you'll learn. There's no shame in that. But let's make sure we have enough of chocolate and Teddy's hugs before we attempt another lesson."

Remus' smile lit his whole face as I pulled him to his feet and into the dining room.


	21. Chapter 21

Dinner became focused on Teddy, so that he got the attention he needed. He received plenty of hugs from both of us. And Remus declared the salad the best he ever tasted.

The little boy practically glowed from the praise. It was obvious to all of us that he felt well cared for. When Fleur met my eyes and smiled, I sighed with relief. Making him part of this 'lesson' for Remus hadn't caused him any harm.

Remus squeezed my arm as I studied the boy. "You have been good for him too, fy arwr."

With nothing but praise from two people whose opinions I respected, I was able to calm down and eat my dinner.

But soon it was time for Fleur to take Teddy to her place for the promised sleepover. I was grateful for Harry's foresight, because I needed to teach Remus the rest of his lesson.

I knew that I had to convince Remus to not fear his own wolf. Because if I didn't, we might end up going in circles. I would end up chasing after Remus and bringing him home every time Moony spooked him by being aggressive or manipulative.

Remus was capable of being wily, even without the wolf. But he rarely acted that way because of his fear of being perceived as feral. But he didn't have to worry about that with me. In fact, being strong, a bit manipulative, and persuasive..well, they were characteristics I wanted in a dominant.

But how should I tell him that it was safe to work with Moony when he was around me? I pondered this as he leaned against my kitchen counter and stared at me awkwardly.

Looking at his hesitant expression, I decided that I had to show him. So I fell to my knees in front of him and leaned my head against his leg.

His hand was carding through my hair a moment later, but I could feel the hesitation I saw on his face. So I looked up at him and whispered, "I was the protector for a lot of kids my last year of school. I'd like a protector of my own, to remind me those bad things are gone, and to teach me how to live again."

"I'm still learning how to live again," Remus whispered back.

"We'll learn together." I looked up at him with my most pleading look. "Let Moony help. I think he can make it easier for you."

Remus just stared down at me for a few minutes. He looked like he was going to tell me that it was dangerous a few times, but he didn't. Then he admitted quietly, "I don't know how to control him without shutting him out completely. That's what my parents taught me to do. It worked, most of the time. So I never tried to use that part of me."

I snorted then summoned something from the front room. I borrowed it from Harry because I needed something to spark Remus' confidence. So I held the map up towards Remus. And laughed when the parchment seemed to respond to his presence. A moment after I held it up, it said, 'Mischief is never completely managed.' across the front.

Remus grinned and shook his head. "When I used that map, I was concentrating more on keeping Sirius under control. And I wasn't very good at it. James was better at making sure Pads didn't do anything stupid. And even he wasn't completely successful."

It was time for me to try my own manipulative skills. "You forgave him for that, didn't you? For trying to use the wolf to get back at Snape?"

Remus eyes glazed over a moment as he paused. Then he replied, "Yes, after the full moon after the incident. Sirius was extremely contrite and seemed to have learned his lesson. He stopped picking on Severus completely at that point."

"Because the wolf put him in his place." I said softly as I put the map safely on the counter behind the other man. Remus' eyes widened in shock, so I continued, "Mrs. Tonk said that Moony made Sirius bow to him, to show his apology to both of you. Your wolf cannot control the blood-lust, except when around his chosen one. That is the curse. And I know he has punished you severely for locking him up during the full moons, before there was Wolfsbane. But he *can* cooperate with you, without you becoming feral. I've watched him do it!"

Remus started to protest. "But you're a special case. He chose you, then convinced me that choice was a good idea. So it seemed natural to work with him to be there for you."

But I wouldn't let him turn away from the idea of using the wolf more extensively. "That gave you an opportunity to practice working with him."

"Practice?" Remus raised an eyebrow as his expression turned skeptical. But his eyes were starting to take on a slight amber glow. He seemed more amenable to the idea as he studied my face.

So I did my best to encourage him. I nodded with a smile. "Practice can help you do amazing things. I know this pretty well."

"So Harry tells me." Remus bent his head, obviously seeking reassurance from me. So I accepted his soft kiss and wrapped my arms around him. 

Then I bowed my head into his chest and suggested, "Practicing more on me may help."

"Will it help you?" Remus whispered in my ear. "I don't want to do something that will distress you."

"Of course it will help me. I need to practice helping you not panic every time Moony comes forward." I looked up at Remus and winked.

Remus' eyes were gleaming hazel when he let out a loud laugh.

====

This time I took his hand and led him to the bedroom. I had no intention of dominating him, but this was more than a bargain to satisfy a wounded wolf. I was hoping to become a guide on a journey that would integrate the two beings in a way they've never been, and in doing so, hopefully make them both stronger.

I urged him to sit on the bed, then returned to my knees to remove his socks and pants. He looked so good in the clothes I had dressed him in earlier. Part of me regretted having to remove them. But I knew there was something more impressive underneath.

He had been asleep and lax when I had dressed him. Now he was awake and very aware of what I was doing. His hand carded through my hair almost immediately. Then as I pulled his trousers away from him, his other hand hesitantly reached to pull my head towards his cock.

I instantly knew what the hesitation meant. Although Remus enjoyed whatever we did during sex, Moony was the one who preferred me to use my mouth. So Remus was trying to accommodate the wolf. Of course I rewarded him, by giving him something he preferred. I wrapped my arms around him as I mouthed his cock, so as much of me as possible was against him.

Then I was rewarded as Remus let Moony come forward. The wolf encouraged me to take more of him and suck. I did so well enough that we were both moaning in pleasure rather quickly. But before I could bring him to orgasm, he yanked me up onto the bed. He growled a little as I fought him. But I made sure he could see my face, where I let a small smile rest. Hazel eyes smiled back at me as we wrestled, but as he visibly tired of the game, he snapped the word, "Submit!"

Although he had never done that before, I knew I wanted to show both sides of this being that I was there for him. So I relaxed, closed my eyes and turned my head so I was bearing my neck right above where his mark was.

I could feel Remus shudder and his cock harden as I did so.

Feeling his response had me hardening and narrowing my focus so all I could see was him. I was no longer worried about teaching Remus. Pleasing this dual sided being who loved and cared for me was all I wanted.

I moaned and wrapped my arms around my dominant as he grazed my neck with his teeth. "Please, Sir," I begged. "Please use me for your pleasure."

"Patience, fy nghariad. I prefer to use you without causing you unwanted pain." His hand ran over my hip and I heard him whisper a spell against my neck. A moment later he was holding me down on the bed by my wrists while I writhed against him.

From the first day I saw the human manifestation of the wolf, I had been entranced by seeing both sides of Remus at once. It was no different now. I literally raised my neck to his mouth again. Then I shuddered as he sucked at the mark roughly.

I felt like I was drowning willingly in the intense feelings he drew from me with his fierce possession. He took my body with a strength that I knew would leave bruises. But the pain of it was welcome, because I could see his love for me in his eyes. And the welcome pain enhanced my pleasure.

Soon I was screaming myself hoarse as the pleasure became too much to take. Then and only then, did my dominant let me explode into a million pieces.

As I drifted back to myself in his arms, I knew I had to find a way to let him know that he did exactly as I had wanted. So I shifted to whisper in his ear, "Thank you, my Remy."

Remus accepted my new nickname for him with a gentle smile. "Thank *you*, my love. For helping me feel whole for the first time in my life."


	22. Chapter 22

We spent the rest of the night rediscovering each other, with wonderful results. I found the dominant Remus was, the gentle one. The one who had you submitting because it sounded like such a good idea. He, in turn, seemed to delight in the way I switched from a submissive to a stern professor when he suggested the sap from my hairy vera plant would make a good lubricant (the sap tended to make people itch).

But the laughter that resulted was healing for both of us. Especially when it became obvious that he respected my expertise as much as I respected his. That revelation led to him showing off his expertise in more intimate things yet again. Not that I was complaining. Not at all.

For me, the night was a long string of violent pleasure interspersed with gentle soothing. I reveled in it until the intensity of his attention slowly turned my pleasure into pain. And this time, all it took for my werewolf lover to see my distress was a small gasp. Moments later, he was wrapped around me protectively, and we were ensconced in the bedcovers. Then we slept wrapped around each other. The nightmares of the war, and of the past few weeks, were defeated for that night at least.

In the morning, we made breakfast together. We discussed our future tentatively. But I insisted that he needed a reminder that I was there to support him, as much as the mark on my neck reminded me that he would be there for me.

Remus bowed his head. "I know, fy arwr. I made a huge mistake by pushing you away. I should have asked for your patience, or your help, while mourning Dora."

I pulled him close to kiss him softly. "I'm glad you realize it now, at least. And don't expect that you're done mourning, Remy. It takes time. You haven't had all that much time to do it. But if you tell me that you're having a bad day, I'll do my best to help you with it."

"I don't deserve you," my lover whispered as his eyes flashed from hazel to amber. "But since you are able to forgive my previous mistakes, I will do my best to turn to you from now on. I have an idea that may help. Just give me a little time to think about it."

So we finished breakfast in amicable silence, perusing the Prophet and enjoying each other's presence.

Once we cleaned up, we went to Bill Weasley's place to get Teddy. The boy greeted us warmly, with hugs and chatter only a two year old could understand. I was hesitant when the child launched himself at me after embracing his father. But Remus just smiled and smoothed Teddy's hair as it changed to match today's blue shirt.

"He seems to like your clothes." Remus said, obviously amused. 

"Madame Malkin has good taste," I replied, faking being affronted. But I smiled as Remus' eyes turned amber and he fingered his own clothes while looking intently at me.

"And you have the wisdom to follow her advice." Remus kissed me gently while Fleur and Bill looked on with smiles on their faces.

We chatted a bit with the Weasleys and assured both of them that we had made significant progress the night before. Then, after a whispered discussion with Bill, Remus decided that we needed to go to Diagon Alley. Since I didn't trust myself apparating with a child, Remus took Teddy. But once we arrived at the apparation point near Flourish and Blotts, my dominant handed the child back to me. "Get him a picture book, please? I have something I need to take care of."

I assumed he was pursuing whatever he had been whispering with Bill about, so I didn't complain as I took Teddy.

But the child was entranced by everything about him and demanded to be put down as soon as Remus left.

So I did. But before I could grab Teddy's hand to lead him into the bookstore, he ran off in pursuit of a witch with a brightly colored robe.

Panicked, I ran after him as quickly as I could. But with so many corners in the area, he was quickly out of sight. Not knowing what else to do, I searched around every corner, until I heard a scream.

"Papa!" came the plea after the scream.

Teddy had only ever called me Uncle Nev, but since it sounded like his voice, I followed it. Another scream had me running until I stumbled on the witch in the brightly colored robe waving her wand at Remus' son, who was lying on the ground crying.

"Stop!" I yelled as I ran over and gathered Teddy into my arms. "Why would you hex a child?!"

The witch stared at me as if I were addled. "He could turn into a werewolf at any time. His father is feral! Neither of them should be allowed near anybody!"

I don't know what possessed me. Perhaps Remus' curse influenced me in some way because he chose me. But I stared the woman in the face as I cuddled Teddy close to me. Then I let out a loud growl.

I was satisfied to see the woman back away quickly, and the crowd gathering around us gasp, and separate. In that gap that was created came Remus, eyes blazing amber as he held his wand at the ready.

"Let them go!" He barked, just as I saw a movement out of the corner of my eye. As I turned towards it, I saw the witch frozen in a battle stance with her wand pointed at me.

Then she stumbled and fell as a bolt of magic hit the ground in front of her feet.

"See!" She screamed from the ground. "He's a threat to everyone! Lock him away." There was a murmur through the crowd, but nobody moved.

Remus ignored her as he rushed to us, running his wand over both of us and hugging us tightly as Teddy whispered "Papa." into my neck. I looked up at him as his eyes changed from amber to hazel, and whispered, "I told you Moony has his uses."

Remus whispered back, "Like teaching me about how wise you are."

Suddenly, there was another murmur through the crowd near us as someone spoke, rather loudly. "All I see is a man defending his son and his intended from a self-important shrew who attacked them without provocation." The voice was familiar, but for some reason, I couldn't place it until the shadow of Headmistress McGonagall's hat fell over me. Her wand came out and pointed at the witch Teddy had followed.

I let the rest of the repartee fall over me as Remus took advantage of Minerva's defense to pull us towards a bench nearby. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have left you alone. Teddy's a lot to handle if you don't know how to take care of children."

I shook my head. "It's not your fault. I shouldn't have put him down..."

A moment later, shadows fell over us again. I looked up to see the Headmistress and Kingsley Shacklebolt gazing at us intently.

Kingsley shook his head. "Well, this one isn't your fault, Remus. That woman has a history of trying to cause trouble. She's been kicked out of the Ministry building a few times because she was yelling about how I was going to cause the downfall of the wizarding world, and that I should be fired. She'll give Ron Weasley an easy case to take care of."

"Not Harry?" Remus asked as he gazed over at where Ron was trying to subdue the witch.

The Auror's expression turned pained. "No. She apparently is against Harry's defeat of Voldemort too. The situation is already painful. I didn't want to make it worse."

Remus nodded as he put an arm around me. Suddenly, I was exhausted, so I leaned against him heavily.

"I've given your afternoon classes the assignments you left for them, Neville," the Headmistress said, startling me to look into her smiling face. "Take Remus and Edward back to the cabin once you're finished here. Oh, and Remus?"

My lover, startled, broke off his quiet conversation with Kingsley to look at her.

The headmistress' eyes took on a twinkle. "With Professor Binns finally passing on, we hired a new History of Magic teacher. But she found that one of the textbooks he used was severely out of date. I want to hire someone to update it. Would you be interested?"

Remus looked amazed, but nodded cautiously. "Yes. That would be wonderful. I need something to do until I can find another job..."

Minerva just tutted at him. "You have a job. It starts after Christmas. Unless you don't want to teach Defense Against the Dark Arts. But then I won't know what to do after Professor Jerus leaves. He can only stay until December."

I grabbed Remus before he could fall off the bench, then looked up at the Headmistress and laughed. "I think you've outdone Professor Dumbledore."

"Not quite." Minerva smiled at me as Remus stuttered out his thanks. "None of the Heads' painting, not even Severus', objected when I said I wanted Remus back in the position." She turned back to the werewolf. "It's time to come home. You've been missed."

I squeezed the hand that suddenly clutched at mine as Minerva promised to help Remus find the supplies he had used, and some updated ones, as quickly as possible.

The Headmistress was about to turn away and leave when I realized I needed her help to reassure Remus about his place in the world. So I knew she would accept when I asked, "Please owl Harry to send the Lupins' things to the cabin. And may I expand the cabin to give Teddy his own bedroom?"

Minerva nodded. "In fact, I'll have Hagrid and Flitwick add the room for you. When would you like them to do it?"

"Now, if possible." Remus said quietly. "I need to show Neville something. So we'll be here for a little while longer. But when we get home, Teddy will need a nap."

Minerva agreed with a tilt of her head. "It'll be crude if they have to do it that quickly, but you can always ask them to adjust it later."

Teddy must have realized Minerva was talking about something for him, because his hair suddenly changed to the green of her robe.

That was enough to bring a chuckle out of all of us. Kingsley then told us to rest as much as we needed, as there was an Auror nearby, watching over us. So we thanked him and Minerva again, then turned back to Teddy to make sure he was recovered before we went to investigate Remus' secret.


	23. Chapter 23

So we sat on that bench a bit longer, just making sure we were all safe and together. But when the three of us calmed enough to let the amber fade from Remus' eyes, he took his child from me gently. "Shh, Teddy. Papa's going with us," he whispered as the boy protested.

"I'm Papa? He was calling me?" I asked in shock as we rose and started walking.

Remus nodded. "I think Fleur told him that you'd be his new papa last night. Because he called you that after we apparated here. Fleur announced it sooner than I wanted, but she's not wrong."

I stopped and stared at Remus for a moment, afraid to say anything. Because I knew I would stutter. I knew I wouldn't be coherent.

Somehow, Remus understood what I was feeling, the warmth that I was afraid wasn't real. Because he just leaned in to kiss my forehead. Then he ushered me towards the end of Diagon Alley.

I was surprised to find him guiding me to a small jewelry shop. "What are you....?" I whispered to him worriedly. Suddenly, I was imagining grand gestures and taking him home to Gran. I wasn't ready for that yet.

"I found that Sirius left me a little money that he never told me about. He left me a message in the vault saying the money was for living, not surviving. So I wanted to get you something. Something that will help me remember that I don't have to do everything by myself. Both he and Dora liked you, and would be glad you are with me now." Remus' whispered words warmed me. I didn't expect him to be as shy as I could be, but when he told me this, it was almost whispered into Teddy's shoulder. And somehow that made this more real, more meaningful. Neither of us was perfect. But together, we were a bit better.

So I let him guide me into the shop, where an older wizard greeted us with a twinkle in his eye. I was immediately reminded of Professor Dumbledore when he was at his gentlest. His kind face somehow made me sure that Remus had gotten what he wanted from the man, so I moved to the counter curiously.

"Hello, Professor Longbottom," the jeweler smiled at me. "I am excited to show what I have for you, but I believe I'll let Mr. Lupin introduce it."

"Thanks, Mr. Vitale." Remus set Teddy on the counter, where Mr. Vitale put some jewel-toned toy muggle cars for him to play with. Then my lover turned to me and grabbed my hands. I could feel his hands tremble, so I squeezed them softly.

My dominant smiled at that. "You're always doing your best to take care of me. I shouldn't really need a reminder. But from I heard, you'd understand why I do. It's too easy to forget even the simplest thing when things go wrong."

I nodded. "I was most likely to forget the tower password after potions class."

Remus chuckled. "But my brave hero didn't forget to protect others when the teacher of that class was unable to."

I sighed at the memory. "He did what he could. But you're right, I have an easier time remembering what's needed when it's not only me who is affected."

Remus picked up one of two flat, simple oval charms made from white gold from the counter. "I'm going to wear this one on a spelled chain so that I can keep it on during the full moon." He tilted the charm so that I could see that it flashed, "I love" then "Fy arwr" then "Neville".

I blinked, surprised that what the charm said was so clear and obvious. "You want everyone to know?"

Remus nodded. "As long as you don't mind that the students know."

I shrugged. "They'll find out faster than everyone else anyway." It was true. In fact, I suspected the students would find out even faster if we tried to hide our relationship.

"That's true. So, I was a bit presumptuous and had Mr. Vitale make this one for you. But if you wear it, and how, are both up to you." Remus showed me an identical charm to his, but this one flashed "Moony" then "Remus" then "Remy".

I examined it critically, then asked, "Can it only flash three times? Because it seems to be missing some words."

I heard Mr. Vitale laugh beside us. "Its spell can be altered to add those words. I suspected Mr. Lupin was being too cautious with your charm."

I glared at my lover. "Caution be damned. I found someone to help me live again."

Remus lowered his eyes a little, but he smiled. "And you seem to be growing like one of your flowers. So it's ok?"

"It's perfect." I squeezed his hand again, then turned to Mr. Vitale. "Can it become an earring? I want something he can easily see."

The older man seemed delighted by the idea. "Of course. I'll add a post and make it a little lighter."

Remus kissed my cheek when he realized I was accepted his gift. "Thank you for being there for me."

I smiled. "I only did what was needed."

Remus shook his head but just asked Mr Vitale to box the charms after the jeweler had added their accessories. "I believe what needs to be said before their use requires privacy."

"Quite understandable, sir. May I congratulate you both on your next step together? It is good to see love becoming visible again in our world." Mr. Vitale nodded.

"I quite agree," I said softly as I gathered the two year old child who had somehow become my son when I wasn't looking.

Remus put his hand on my back as he took our packages from the older man and led us out the door. "Thank you, Mr. Vitale. If we can handle showing it, it shouldn't be long until love is everywhere you look."

The jeweler waved with a smile. "From what I've heard, both of you have made excellent examples for others."

We both left with red faces, which made Teddy giggle.

====

When we returned to the cabin, we found that the headmistress had done what she had promised. There was now one more room, big enough for a well-loved little boy.

In that room was a cozy little bed covered by a blanket that had moving images of grey wolves and ...Venus fly traps. We laughed as we realized that Harry must have come over with Remus's and Teddy's possessions. So Remus dug through the box in the corner. He gently lifted Victor to sit on the windowsill, and found Teddy's stuffed animals.

I put Teddy in his new bed, as he was already starting to fall asleep. He protested, but only for a moment. Because I promised Victor would watch over him.

Once the child was settled, Remus guided me to the master bedroom. "I did a bit of reading after I drove you away," he said quietly as he urged me to sit on the bed.

"About what?" I asked as I accepted his soft kiss. Before he replied, he knelt before me.

"Dominants and submissives." Remus hushed my protest at his position with another kiss. "I knew I had done something awful the moment you left Grimmauld Place. But I wasn't sure why it felt so wrong until Bill lent me a few books."

He looked up at me with a gentle smile as he pulled the jeweler's package from his robe pocket and opened the one on the chain--his. "The werewolf curse is paradoxical. In the same way being a dominant is. To keep the wolf under control, you must nurture it, learn from it, let it be part of you. You've taught me that. And to be a good dominant, you must let your submissive lead you to where you need to be. And I knew I needed that lesson when I woke up to find another dominant at your side. You showed me my place. You humbled me, but gave me hope. Thank you, fy arwr, for giving me a second chance and showing me that I could belong to you."

Remus held out the chain to me and bent towards me, so I slid it over his head. "I'm glad you understood." I whispered as I kissed his neck where the chain fell.

"So am I." He whispered back as he unwrapped the earring. He tapped my ear with his wand, then slid the earring into its new home. "You have taken such good care of me. I want to do the same for you. I want you to have this to remind both of us that your need for support is as strong as mine." He caressed my ear gently.

"If you really want to know how to take care of me, let's start with something we know you're good at." I pulled him up and over me so we both landed on the bed.

Remus laughed. "Well, you did say learning to practice would help me."

He practiced so well that Teddy had to wake us up after his nap.


	24. Chapter 24

Life is usually normal routine intertwined with a few dramatic moments. We had many of our dramatic moments that summer and early autumn. So after that, our lives began to settle. We both had our work, and Teddy kept both of us occupied during much of our time at home.

We made sure to steal moments of excitement and happiness in between the routines. Because part of settling in was teaching each other what we were like on a daily basis. And teaching each other how to respond. So I coaxed Remus into sharing time with Moony regularly, whether it be late night pleasure or expressing his annoyance at something. He, in turn, coaxed me back to my friends and listened as I dealt with the emotions I had hidden during the war, and was only beginning to rediscover. I begged for the strap twice before Christmas came, to keep me from drowning in them. Moony gave in, but he made me swear to talk to Remus afterwards. For the wolf realized before I did that I needed both pain and comfort when thoughts of the war overwhelmed me.

And the nights of the moon, well, they were my time to bond with the wolf. We sent Teddy to spend time with Harry and went into the small basement of the cabin. We didn't bother with Wolfsbane. There was no need for it. For I was there to keep Moony calm. He showed his appreciation by making sure Remus got through the night with no more than a few aches and pains, and by showing me how much like an overgrown puppy he could act like. Werewolves make rather heavy lap dogs.

So we had three good months of contentment until I became sick.

It was just a cold, really. It started at the beginning of December. But then it just wouldn't go away.

By mid-December, my appetite had disappeared and I was starting to worry Poppy Pomfrey with a cough that had me leaning against walls when it came forth.

It became so worrisome that I tried to not breathe anywhere near Teddy or my students.

I also was careful with Remus. He was preparing to take over the DADA class again. This was not the time for him to be ill.

But my protector would not be dismissed. Every time somebody coaxed me to the infirmary due to a coughing fit, I found Remus there, consulting with Poppy. Sometimes they were leaning over a book together. Sometimes they were arguing behind a muffling spell. Even though the three of us were all very well aware that they were discussing my condition, when I asked them for details, they both asked me for patience. They wanted to be sure they had the right diagnosis before they told me about it.

Every time Remus said this, amber shined in his eyes. Even Moony believed they needed my patience. So I waited and took whatever potion Poppy handed me that day.

But my condition wore me out most days. So I was very happy when Christmas holidays came around. I needed the rest and I needed to spend time with my family, which had grown so much bigger that year. 

There was not only the time to spend with Teddy and the visits to Gran and Andromeda Tonks, but also invitations to the Burrow and Grimmauld Place. Even Draco Malfoy and his new wife had sent us an invitation to a party at Malfoy Manor.

So I was determined to rest and get well so that we could join in on the holiday fun.

But it turned out that I actually needed a DADA expert and a gentle dominant to cure me. Luckily I had both.

====

The bad coughing fit that I had the day before Christmas Eve must have been the catalyst. Because a half hour after I sent away the 4th year who had been helping me in the Greenhouse with a promise that I would head home after the last plant was watered, I found myself facing a wolf at the Greenhouse door.

"It's time I gave you a botany lesson," Moony growled softly as he surveyed my condition. A moment later, he held out his hand. "Come with me."

"You're going to give *me* a botany lesson? Oh, this I have to see." I teased him as I took his hand. But I found myself very curious at his words and at Moony's presence. The wolf usually didn't show himself in the school.

My lover chuckled as he walked at a slow but even pace towards the cabin. I had a feeling he was making sure I didn't wear myself out. But he just said, "I do know something about plants. Trust me on this?"

"Of course." I squeezed his hand. Remus smiled back at me, but I could see that Moony hadn't left his eyes. Whatever Remus had planned was going to be a joint effort on their parts.

Instead of walking into the cabin as I expected, Remus guided me past it and into the Forest, right over to the Devil's Snare.

"Oh my!" I exclaimed as I stared at the Snare. It had a layer of dead tendrils on it and some of the main vine was turning black. "I've been so busy with teaching and with you two that I forgot about it!"

"I figured that out recently." Remus said softly. "Hold on. Let me check on something. Then we can take care of your Snare."

My lover let go of my hand and walked into the shadows. I could see him leaning towards a creature and speaking. Worriedly, I shifted to see them better. I sighed with relief when I realized the creature was Firenze.

"You will not be disturbed, I promise. Make them well," Firenze said softly as I came closer.

"I will." Remus nodded. He smiled at me as I moved to his side. "We need space and privacy to cure the Snare. Firenze is insuring we get both."

Puzzled, I stared at Remus. But he didn't say anything more. So I just thanked the centaur. A moment later, Remus led me back to the vine and put up an obscuring ward around it and us.

Then he smiled again. "It's time for your lesson. Tell me, my wise flora expert, what you know about the Devil's Snare."

I shivered in the winter cold as I gathered my thoughts. Remus came over and wrapped us both in the new cloak he had bought with the advance Minerva had given him. I smiled in thanks, then answered, "It has contracting vines to capture food for itself, but is easily fooled by creatures that don't struggle in its grip. Those it will let go. It hates sunlight and fire, and will recoil from them."

"Can it withstand a small warming spell?" Remus asked curiously. "I don't want you to get too cold."

I nodded. "It should be fine if you direct the spell at us instead of it."

Remus did so, causing me to sigh with relief as my feet warmed up. Then he asked, "Did you know that Devil's Snare is empathic?"

I blinked. "No, I didn't. Since the Snare occasionally takes fauna for food, I'm actually surprised. That's not something you usually find in an empathic plant."

"Poppy and I did some research. It's extremely rare for a Snare to bond to someone, but when it does, it's very loyal." Remus ran his hand over the top of the Snare, which rustled a few live tendrils to him, caressing his arm softly. 

"You're bonded to it!" I exclaimed.

Remus laughed. "No, I'm not the one bonded to the Snare. But I am bonded to another plant. That's how I recognized the Snare's problem."

"Which one are you bonded to?" I looked around into the gloom, but didn't see any flora moving toward Remus other than the Snare.

"The one that has been guarding the vine since the war ended." Remus lit his wand with a blue glow, which would not disturb the Snare. "Look up, above the oak that usually blocks most of the sunlight."

He handed me the wand so that I could walk backwards a few steps and see above the winter-bare oak. The tree shading the the oak and the Snare was the most magically empathic tree in the wizarding world. "So that's what happened to the Whomping Willow!" 

Remus reached up. As he did, one of the branches of the Willow landed gently in his hand. "We are here to help, old friend," he whispered as he ran a finger over the branch. "Thank you for watching out for it until we could get here."

Then he turned towards me. "Ponoma Sprout said that you would escape to this area at times when things were bleak."

I startled, as I didn't think anyone knew because I always made sure to come here late at night. But Remus gave me an encouraging look, so I took a deep breath and told him, "Even though Voldemort had hidden here, the Forest itself was just dark, not dark and evil. I found that rather comforting."

Remus caressed my cheek, giving me a warmth that I had only known once before in this place. "I have a feeling the darkness here gave you a place to let go of your anger, didn't it? Somehow, you left here better able to handle it." 

I nodded, surprised that what he said was true. I hadn't even realized that until he mentioned it.

After a moment, he continued, "You also came out here when I confused you, and after I pushed you away. Being around the Snare probably settled you a bit."

Now that he pointed out what I had been doing, I could see that it didn't stop with the war. "It did, though Moony's presence did most of it that last time."

Remus' eyes flashed amber. "But I knew that to aid you, I merely had to wait next to your vine. Your pain would drive you out here, so you could cope with it. Your vine has served you well by absorbing enough of it to allow you to continue on."

I stared at the Devil's Snare. "Am I making it sick now? I shouldn't be. Other than this cold, things have been much better."

Remus pulled me close again. "Poppy and I believe its actually making you sick. You see, because Snares are so rarely empathic and exist so well in darkness, that they aren't especially good at dispelling dark feelings. This one festered from your anger after you left the school. That's when the Willow moved over here to protect it. I think the Willow had somehow gathered you had a crush on me."

I could see that Remus was smiling as I looked up at the tree. Apparently the blue light of his wand was strong enough for him to tell that I was blushing. "Don't be embarrassed. Ponoma knew you hid out here on tough nights. And she does know Snares are empathic. So when the Willow moved here on its own, she immediately informed Minerva that you might be someone who could help me. Ponoma decided to retire the day after that, for the sake of both of us."

I took a deep breath. "It seems rather odd that the plants knew more than everyone else."

Remus shrugged. "I couldn't talk to anyone at that point, and you were refusing to talk. But everyone knew that we both needed help. So anything that gave them clues on how to help us was welcome. Oddly enough, Minerva was not really surprised when Ponoma told her to let you take her place. She said the empathic magic between these two plants is the strongest she's ever seen."

I leaned into my lover with a sigh. "Well, we are better because of each other now. So what do we need to do to help the plants, since this one seems to be suffering from dark magic? I believe that this is where your expertise comes in, my wise defense expert."

Remus squeezed me gently. "Some of the arguments you saw in the infirmary were about how to dispel the darkness. I couldn't use my favorite cure, chocolate." He smiled as I laughed. "I also couldn't use light, which is the easiest."

I nodded. "That does put us in a bind."

Remus chuckled and smoothly backed me up against the Devil's Snare before I realized what he was doing. "It actually puts *you* in a bind, fy arwr." He caressed a vine tendril behind me until it wrapped securely around my right arm.

Knowing better than to struggle, I looked into my lover's eyes. They gleamed hazel. They practically glowed with both colors. "Remy?" I questioned softly.

My dominant smiled at me calmly. "Trust me, my love. Your plant needs this. And I believe this unorthodox cure will also rid you of that cough." He tapped a second tendril, which wrapped around my left arm.

"Are you doing what I think you're doing?" I asked as Remus knelt down in front of me and shifted my robes so he could touch my skin without making me cold.

"Mmhmm. Sex magic can be joyous enough to dispel anger easily. But since it is often done in the dark, it won't cause the Devil's Snare any pain." With that, he waved his wand to finish parting my clothes and slid his mouth around my cock.

Instantly, I let out a gasp. I could literally feel the joy he felt in doing this for me. I could feel how much he needed to care for me. He was using his strength for my benefit, as any good dominant would for a beloved submissive. And I responded by giving in, letting that strength help me love him, as any good submissive would. 

Because I gave in so completely to him, it didn't take long before I was coming. Remus pulled away quickly and let my fluids bless the ground, to help the Snare. But as soon as my body gave up the last drop, he tapped the vine's tendrils so they would let go and bundled my exhausted form into his arms.

"That should be enough to start restoring the Snare." My lover whispered in my ear as he lifted me off the ground. "The Willow can watch over it until after you recover. Poppy said you'd be vulnerable after the darkness loosened it's grip. So the rest of your cure includes a nap and some soup from Molly."

I nodded against Remy's shoulder. "As long as you're there with me. The best cures include a few growls and a few extra worried looks to keep the bad magic at bay."

Remy laughed as he apparated us into the cabin. He didn't let me do more than sit up on the bed as he whisked away our clothes and tucked me in. After he climbed in and wrapped around me, he murmured, "Teddy and Victor are helping Kreacher make you chocolate chip pancakes to go with your soup."

I turned to face him. "Are they trying to make me fatter?"

Remus shook his head. "You've lost weight, love. Your illness has taken a lot out of you. In fact, it was Teddy who made me realize something was seriously wrong. Two weeks ago, he began crying as I put him to bed. When I asked him why, he said that you weren't soft anymore. I knew eating well makes you happy, so I had to figure out why it stopped, and why your cough didn't."

He kissed my forehead. "We love you. All of you. The same way you love a child with an affinity for old cranky house elves and flesh eating houseplants. The same way you love both sides of me. You don't see these things as flaws to be covered up or dismissed. They are just part of us, and you embrace them. Let us do the same for you."

I sighed as I snuggled into my lover. "It sounds backwards. I always heard that love is supposed to make you a better person."

"But that's the paradox of love, fy arwr. It makes you better by letting you be you. Just as taming a werewolf means embracing it. Just as freeing yourself from a trauma starts with admitting the trauma existed and you were hurt by it."

Remus showed me his love a moment later by letting me sink into sleep even though he wasn't finished lecturing me on what he had learned.

That made the pancakes that were presented to me a few hours later all the more appetizing. I made sure to eat every one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last edit on 3/25/19. Thank you for reading!


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